[troubledwaters]

i fell in love with a colleagues' best friend and keep it to myself for many months before letting it out. i sent the guy anonymous confessions and said that i was sincerely interested but shy (i had to think hard coz its a big risk). in the months that i kept quiet, when we'd all go out in a group i used to cold shoulder him coz i was scared he'd find out.

I knew i had strong feelings for him. because he was a colleagues best friend made it harder for me to admit my feelings.

he eventually found out i was the 'secret admirer' and asked me to go steady with him. we have been going out for a few months now.... we seldom see each other, we never talk on the phone, when i call he picks up when he feels like it, we've slept together, we hardly have communication with each other.

i try not to call him more than 3 times a week (if he picks up 1/3 of the calls i'd be so lucky). sometimes we'd sms back and forth and then usually he suddenly stops. there has been weeks when after he misses my calls, he'd only contact me 5 days later with crappy excuse.

i am genuinely in love with this guy, although i do feel uneasy because work relationships are involved (his friend). his friend always calls him (almost everyday) and they'd talk and laugh on the phone and sometimes whispers gossips about 'our' relationship. i feel really sick when that happens, coz he's ignoring me and i have to hear his friend ask questions bout us on the phone.

now he's ignoring me for the past week. i feel so lost.

Note : when we do go out on dates, i know he gives me his full attention. and we'd talk non stop. but the gaps between dates! ugh!

is he toying with me? is he a player?
What do you make of his moves?
does he have commitment problems?
is he using me? he asked me for a relationship...
did i make the biggest joke of myself by making the first move admitting my feelings.
i'm trying not to call him, waiting for him to initiate for once, is this right?

i dont know what to do...