[prncssweetie]

Hey Everybody,
Well, it’s me again! I figured I received so much great advice from all of you regarding me and my boyfriend I decided that maybe you could help my friend. Her name is Chantel and she wanted advice on this co-worker of hers.

Some Important Facts

Ø The both started working @ T.J. Maxx around the same time, I’d say November 2003 as seasonal workers, and now both work as part-timers at the store.

Ø The guy in question is named “D”. He’s 25 years old and goes to the University of California--Riverside. He likes to party and she found out that one of his friends is getting married next week and so he is going to a bachelor party in Vegas next weekend. From what she heard one time he’s been single lately (she said one day they we closing and the manager had asked all of them what they had planned for Valentine’s Day. “D”s answer was that he life in the romance department has been a bit disappointing and that he was just going to go out with friends).

Ø Now, as most or all of you know when you go to the workplace gossip is inevitable. Well, she heard from a trusted confidante at work, that “D” and the confidante were closing one night and the subject turned to children. Chantel tells me that majorities of the ppl our age at the store (mostly the girls) (I’m 20, she’ll be 20 in August) have kids. So this confidante found out that “D” has a baby girl about 4yrs. Old. It took the confidante by surprise b/c as long as he’s been working there that maybe that info would have been known by now.

Ø I’m taking that to mean that this guy doesn’t talk about his personal life all that much, and for good reason especially in a very gossipy work-place that Chantel has told me about.

The Problem

Okay so here is the problem. Chantel really likes “D”. She has told me she has weighed the pros and cons of possibly dating a co-worker and would like to go through with it. However, she is very shy. She’s told me that if they are in the break room together with on their 15 min or lunch break neither will say anything to each other except maybe Hi or Bye followed by long periods of akward silences. She’s also iffy about the kid situation b/c that in itself presents challenges along with the differences in ages which mind you aren’t that much.

What she wants to know is how can she improve her chances of getting herself more noticeable, and what advice would you all give to her regarding the facts that I have presented here.

Oh, btw he talks and carries on conversations with everybody else but with her he ignores or doesn’t say much at all.

[shamen]

Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like he's interested in her at this moment. If he were, wouldn't they have some sort of a conversation?

Even if she says that she's cool with dating someone in the workplace, is she really sure? I mean, if she were to ask this guy out and then he said no, wouldn't she feel a little weird? Besides the fact that if they did go out and then it didn't work out, ugh. It's really not a good idea to date someone from work, in my opinion.

OK, assuming he wouldn't mind going out with her, on the opposite end of the spectrum, talking to him will definitely help the situation. How do you get anyone to notice you? Talk to them. Act interested in the conversation (hopefully it actually is interesting); ask them questions that relate to the current conversation.

Maybe after talking to him a bit she'll find out that he's not really all that attractive anyway. Just a thought.