[ladyangel]

What is everybody's thoughts about a soldier getting his girlfriend an engagement ring right before leaving to go to Iraq? Do you think it's a good idea to get engaged right before being separated for at least a year? They've known each other for 9 months and things are going well. We're just a little surprised because we don't feel like we know her very well at all. She seems like a very sweet girl who we would like to get to know better.

Do you think that engagements in these situations should wait until the soldier returns home? Do you think the man is just worried that the woman will find someone else while he's away and that with his ring on her finger it shows she belongs to him.

[Thinkalot]

Originally posted by ladyangel
Do you think the man is just worried that the woman will find someone else while he's away and that with his ring on her finger it shows she belongs to him.

Probably that is part of it I would think. The security factor which the ring symbolises.
As for whether it is a good idea? Depends on the individuals largely...I would think 9 months is not a very long time for them to be together, but perhaps they BOTH want this security now. They can have a long engagement perhaps....to make sure they are sure they are doing the right thing, once he returns home and so on.

I should imagine being apart for so long would be a big test for any couple though, and very difficult. I feel for them in having to be apart at all.

They should examine their reasons carefully though.

well honestly a lot of guys in the service have wives or fiances and kind of rub it in on the other guys and make marriage and being engaged sound like the best thing in the world...

one of my best friends is in the air force and some of the guys were teasing him that he called me every night but that we weren't married or engaged...

so he asks me to marry him and i told him no way (we are just friends and my heart belongs to another) we really don't have that kind of relationship...then he asks me if i would mind him just telling his friends we were engaged...still told him no...

a couple weeks later he finds out he's going to afghanistan in a couple of months and asks me again...trying to give me a guilt trip of "what if i die?"...and i still said no...

then he comes home on leave and meets this girl...knows her for two weeks and marries her! craziest stuff i've ever heard...

well...they stayed married for about 4 weeks...she was ready to spend some time with him in arizona and he freaks out and divorces her...then he calls me and says "man, being married ain't what it's cracked up to be...all she did was nag me because i didn't call her every day..." i was like "well, geez you call me everyday..." and he says "i know...ok so maybe i didn't even really like her...but the guys said if i got married things would be better..."

the bottom line is that when guys get in the military the other guys make marriage sound wonderful and a must before they get shipped off...if they aren't gonna work out they usually figure it out pretty quick. but hey, if a ring on some chick's finger gives them peace of mind while they are overseas kicking butt...let them go to it, i say.

[CurlyIam]

The question is did they want to get married anyway? If I wanted to marry a guy, than I'd do it. §He would be my man, a year, two or three from now. Our wedding would be about love not about going away.

The feeling of unknown ahead of you tends to intensify things, if you're not sure. It's the need of keeping things as you know, of familiarity, of... not change. Of at least one certain thing in your life.

So it all revolves towards their feelings. What I'm trying to say is that he can be doing the right thing for the wrong reason or the right thing for the right reason. As a mother, you have every reason to worry . Just be there for him and be honest to him. No other kid can ask more from a mother!

[pitprincess]

Me and my husband knew one another 3 months and got married 3 months and 4 days to the day we met.
We have been married 23 years

I think its romantic and that he loves her or he wouldn't have done it
I think:::
He loves her and he didn't want to go off not knowing that he didn't ask the woman he loved to be his wife incase something happend to him while he was gone.
This is just my OP nothing more