I've found myself filing for a divorce from my wife of eight years and I'm pretty much an emotional wreck. I'm finally standing my ground after all these years and yet I feel miserable. I tried to make her happy but nothing is ever good enough for her. I built her two brand new homes in less than five years and she's more concerned with what the neighbors think than whether our marriage is working or not. Needless to say I'm pretty angry at how ungrateful she is after all the hell you go through in building a house. We've only been in the new one for less than six months but I can't take the emotional abandonement of a wife who sleeps in a separate bedroom, rarely if ever shows any affection, and spends more time with a divorced woman in the neighborhood than with me or our dogs. I suggested marriage counseling to her and she refused. So I filed for a divorce. What else am I supposed to do?
Sounds like she takes you for granted from the way you posted...
But there are numerous questions in my head that you could answer,
did you ever cheat?
do you tell her you love her and adore her everyday?
do you both spend quality time together?
do you take time out to spend time together?
Just a few things to consider..... divorce can be ugly (I know) and not to mention very painful........I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy........
To answer your questions, no I've never cheated, if I had I'd at least understand the situation better. As for quality time together that's the real issue to me. We've been on countless vacations together. We used to take our dogs to the park for a walk almost everyday. But now she's either too busy or too tired to even walk the dogs with me. If I was overweight, drinking all the time, or abusive I'd at least give her the benefit of the doubt for avoiding me but I'm not any of those things. All I can figure is that she comes from a family where the women dominate everything and the men just do what their told. I guess I'm not doing as I'm told so I must be punished in some form or fashion. Anyway, I think the thing that kept me in the marriage was the hope that things would get better if I just stuck it out. Well that didn't happen and my head tells me it's time to move on.
Since you filed for a divorce I hope you get a good lawyer so your ungrateful wife doesn't try and take you for all your worth! Sounds like she is very selfish and ungrateful! I say move on and find someone who will love and respect and appreciate you for more than just what you can "do" for them!
Well, my brother is an attorney and he's representing me for free so I'm not too worried about splitting the assets. We don't have any kids so that's a least one less thing to worry about. I have wondered if she is cheating on me but don't have any proof to speak of but if she was at least I'd have some explanation for what is going on. And frankly, it would make walking away much less difficult.
I am really sorry that you are going thru this..... when I got divorced I was heartbroken.... I did not want to get divorced but he did... I am still bitter about the whole thing two years later.... I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy...
But on a happier note. I have become more dependent on myself... I have not given up and I am still alive.
Good luck and I hope that everything works out for you...
I just got to this post and your situation seems similar to mine.
Sounds like your wife is the taker and your the giver.
My wife and I sleep in the same bedroom but my wife too has an insatiable desire for material goods.
Walking away is harder than it sounds. I too am having difficulty doing that.
Please keep us informed of what happens as it may make it easier for me to walk away as well.
Good luck with the decision you have made it sounds like she is very ungrateful and maybe this girlfriend of hers isn't helping the situation any either.. maybe you should hire a PI just to see if she is possibly cheating on you..if you've built her these houses and such there has to be something going on somewhere!
Get divorced and marry me! You guys who have ungrateful wives and who are faithful and do everything - how come I can never meet anyone like you?
I just divorced my exhusband who was so self-absorbed and in love with himself - he didn't know I existed half the time.
How do mis-matched couples get together - I'd KILL for a husband who was attentive and faithful - anything else would be a huge bonus! I'm the least materialistic woman in the world, I don't demand anything other than love and honesty.
I crave intimacy and great sex yet my husband prefers porn. I don't get it - why can't I find a nice guy like you who'd do anything in the world for his wife????
Hey, I am young(16) and not married but have been through alot. I know that walking away from someone you truly love can be one of the hardest things to do and it sounds to me that you are not selfish and you shouldn't have to be when you are in love. But nows the time when you have to think of yourself, not to be selfish though. You have many more years to come in your life and you know in your mind and heart that you want to be happy and make the rest of your years worthwhile. With what you've got now is someone that obviously isn't going to try and make you feel great. Walk away, appreciate what you have gotten from that relationship, and go out into the world with even more knowledge and happiness that can be shared with someone else and you can receive in return. Even if you are alone for some time consider that meant to be and write that new chapter of your life. Hope this helps and I wish you all the best, you deserve much much better and more.
This is crazy...I yearn for romance and my husbands idea is to read penthouse in bed next to me and try to grope me. He says he has nothing he wants and he his just unhappy with his whole life. Makes me feel great. He also refused counseling and I'm on the fence. I can't see living the rest of our lives unhappy. Im only 25 and I feel like I have so much to give. My dad said something to me this weekend that is ringing in my ears...
Some people spend all of their lives trying to make everyone else happy and making themselves miserable. I just know he was talking to me.
Good Luck!
When I first posted to this forum I was in a terrible frame of mind. Now, my divorce is almost final as I'm just waiting for a court date to have a judge sign the final divorce decree. I found out that my soon to be ex-wife has a boyfriend. Caught them together and found a bunch of romantic emails so I was somewhat surprised but not devastated. She won't admit to any of the fooling around but I don't care anymore. I'm glad I filed and I can't wait for it to be finished. We put the new house up for sale and there's a couple who've signed a contract to buy it so that'll take care of that. I still don't know why my wife went off the deep end. I asked her several times during the first month of problems if she was willing to work things out. No was always the answer. So, now I know that she is moving back to her hometown, with or without the boyfriend and it doesn't bother me at all. The people I work with have been very supportive and so has all my family. I did lose some weight from the stress but I do get out and run at least three miles every other day. I sleep pretty well at night even though there's always this giant weight on my shoulders of watching an eight year marriage go down the toilet. It's not so much the money that I lost over the years but the time. I'll never get that back. But I don't have to deal with a person who doesn't appreciate me or the things I tried to do for her. As far as I'm concerned it's her loss not mine. The only thing I'm going to miss are the dogs that we had over the years. I gave them to her in the divorce and I'm planning on getting a new puppy as soon as I find a new house. At least with a new dog I'll have something to do and some companionship that won't scream and yell at me at every opportunity. Anyway, my mental and physical state of being are much better than I would have ever expected at this point. I only wish that I'd done a better job picking a wife in the first place. But who ever knows what another person is capable of when you first meet them?
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