He's looking at other girls: Younger man (19), older woman (23)

Christa · 8th May 2004, 7:39 PM

I just started getting serious with this guy who is a lot younger than me. He is 19 and I am 23. He looks at every single girl (up and down) and I always see him. He looks like he's ready to jump them or something. He even looks at his best girlfriend like that. It really upsets me. But if I say something he's like, "What! What! No I wasn't!" He gets all mad. I think maybe he's just used to looking at whoever, whenever because he's not used to being in a relationship. But I feel like I'm being disrespected!! I don't know what to do! Is this reason enough to break up with someone? Or are all guys just like this? I really need some opinions especially from guys!

Tony T · 8th May 2004, 8:30 PM

Hey, he's a young guy with lots of testosterone rolling around in his bloodstream. It'll be many years before he stops thinking about jumping the bones of every good looking lady he sees. My advice is to move on. This guy is a real player and you're not going to get far with him. Besides, you would be a lot better off dating a man and laying off the teenagers unless there is some significant benefit you're getting from the relationship that you're willing to pay for with his indiscriminate glances.

Tony T · 8th May 2004, 10:14 PM

1. "Is this reason enough to break up with someone?"

That's something you have to decide. If you're benefiting in some other ways from the relationship, is putting up with his crap an OK price to pay? You're not going to change him.

2. "Or are all guys just like this?"

Not all of them. But most guys do look at other women, some more than others. Some are much more discrete than others. They usually stop when they go blind or lose their glasses. There are men who are far more selective than others in who they decide to look at.

3. "I really need some opinions especially from guys!"

No, you need an opinion from yourself. If this bothers you and there's no other redeeming features of the relationship, you should terminate it. Otherwise, just resolve yourself to the fact that he's going to be looking at other women when you're out with him. Just don't let it bother you. Again, if it does bother you a lot, end the relationship. No other opinions count but yours.

Christa · 9th May 2004, 9:43 PM

Thank you for your input Tony