In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
New here... anyway... for those interested in some light reading, here goes:
Situation is... I'm 30 years old, male. I work with a girl who is not in the same dept but I see her almost every day as she works in the same building. She is 23 years old. Both me and her have romantic partners already. However, my current girlfriend has turned into a platonic relationship. That's how I feel about her; she insists that she still loves me and wants to be romantically involved. My feelings just won't reciprocate that. Yes, I know, I should break up with her. She lives with me and is real dependent upon my provisions right now. But anyway, this is not the main subject of my post.
The girl that works at my place of employment does have a boyfriend. However, a guy who works in the same dept as me has told me that she once said to him "I don't know why I'm living with this guy, I don't even like him". Somehow, ever so slowly, I have developed very strong feelings for this girl. But I'm willing to bet that she certainly doesn't feel for me the same as I feel for her. But of course I'm not really sure since I haven't taken any steps to get closer to her. She and I both have girlfriend/boyfriends already. But I sense that we both aren't very happy in our relationships.
So... the other day this same guy I work with is talking with this girl. This guy jokes around alot, very sarcastic type of guy. He mentions to said girl that I (the I writing this post) rode my motorcycle in today and if she liked it or not. He also said to her something along the lines of "there is room for two on the bike, want to take a ride on it with him?" Now, this conversation took place behind me - we have cubicles we work in. I didn't really hear her reply but later on this guy told me that she didn't react very favorably to his comments. So, me being so self-assured I Instant Message the guy and tell him "why did you say that? she went ahead and gave a disgusted look when you mentioned that thing about her riding on the motorcycle with me". He replies "yeah, great for the ego, eh?". As if to confirm that she did INDEED give a disgusted look when thinking about riding on the bike with me. But you see people, I never saw the look she gave since I had my back turned to both of them. I just assumed that how she reacted, and he seems to have confirmed my worst fear.
Now, my question to you all is can I assume that if she did indeed give a "oh sick" look to him, perhaps she did so because she currently has a boyfriend? And doesn't want to act like some "easy" girl who would just jump at the chance to ride on a bike with a guy she barely knows? In otherwords, are the chances just as good that the look was not a reflection of her opinion about me as much as it was a reflection of the situation that she is in? I mean, who would for serious reply to this guy with "oh yes, I would love to go riding with another guy who is not my boyfriend and who I barely know"?
I don't think I'm that bad of a looking guy, so I just find it hard to believe that she finds me disgusting, but maybe she does? I'm mainly looking for girls' replies to this, but anyone can chime in. I would greatly appreciate any replies.
She could have been disgusted because he was acting like a grade-school kid. I'm surprised he didn't burst into a chorus of 'Johnny and Jenny sitting in a tree'!
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Yeah, you bring up a very good point. As this guy is known as a sarcastic little bastard- pardon the language. I do think that some of her reaction must have been due to the fact that what he said out loud makes for a not so comfortable situation. I mean, how was she supposed to react when he said it for me to hear and others to hear?
Why not ask this girl to have a coffee with you? Just a friendly chat? See how you get along. It sounds like you don't know her very well at all, so your strong feelings are for an image you have of her, really. Wouldn't it make sense to check her out more closely, first?
Oh and forget that incident with the sarcastic friend - that's no source of info. Trust me.
Yeah, this is the type of girl who is attractive, but it's more her personality that affects me so greatly. This sarcastic guy is always liking to poke his nose into other people's business, and really likes to stir the pot at work. My thinking on this incident is kind of like this: even if this girl gave a look of disgust, don't you think it was probably more in the way of making sure that no one around would get any ideas? I mean, she would use it as a reflex since she already has a boyfriend?
I know I have witnessed ex-girlfriends comment about how they don't like how another guy looks, but I know damn good and well that the guy is good-looking. I suspect they just say they don't like the way another guy looks because they're too into their own boyfriend or they're just being polite.
again, i wouldn't overanalyze this incident. there are a million 'could be's. i don't think it gives you any reason to think she likes or dislikes you.
Yah, probably just indifferent to me. That's what I think anyway. But yeah, you make good suggestions. When my mind is more stable and such, I'm able to kind of push my vulnerability away. See things more in perspective.
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