[Tai79]

Hello all, I am in need of some serious advice, as I have gotten myself into quite the messy situation. I am a 24-year-old male from the metro Boston, MA area, and my intended is a 18-soon-to-be-19-next-month female from a small town in western Virginia state attending William and Mary University.


This girl and myself have been friends since April-May of 1999, when we met in a game room on IRC. We have kept in touch regularly over the years and are good friends. Around the beginning of April, for reasons unknown (perhaps they had built over time and came to a head then) I fell utterly and madly in love with her.
I invited her to come to a sci-fi convention next April, and she accepted.


For all the time I have known her, I have found her to be funny, intelligent, caring...all the things I could want in a woman. She never breaks her word
and is dependable and trustworthy, so I believe she is who she says she is,
although I have never met her in person, although we have exchanged addresses and photos.


Everything would be fine, but as always, there are a few problems. She is currently seeing someone at her school and she is happy with him. However, he graduates next May and is from Wisconsin, and most likely will return home after graduation.
I told her how I felt about her and everything she wanted to know about me, and
I invited her to come to a sci-fi convention next April, and she accepted. Her friends and boyfriend don't like me, I guess because of the whole meeting-over-the-internet thing. The other problem is her father. He is very overprotective and doesn't like the idea of any male with her...so as you can see I am really in a bind here.


What I need some advice on is how I could prove to her that I am worth her time, more than this other guy or anyone else for that matter, and also how to make her friends and father at ease, and to have them see I am no stalker or psycho like you see in the papers, so she can come up here next April. She has promised me the chance to win her over, and she is a girl of her word, so I have no reason to distrust her. I am a big guy, and this girl has given me the inspiration to change myself for her, and I am willing to make any sacrifice to make this work for me.
I am already making plans to go down there this winter to visit her so she can meet me before she goes home on winter break. Any advice would be welcome, because I really have it bad for her and I don't know what to do.

[bluechocolate]

You have plenty of reason to distrust her.

She has a boyfriend and then allows someone to form an emotional attachment with her over the internet.

She's a cheater AND a player.

The internet can be tool to meet somone but until you know them "in the flesh" as it were, you have no idea whatsoever what they're really like.

i dunno man. i mean you gotta go with your own ideal cause anyone else's reply is just filtered through their own experience. but i personally am pretty big on fully reciprocated relationships. winning her over? she shouldn't be trying to put you through some test of chivalry, it's the modern day, and she should be putting in just as much effort into winning you. of course, don't give her any ultimatum to drop her man, however, give her the same treatment she's giving you:

keep her on the side until the convention and until then try to pick up other girls too. remember, you gotta have fun with this girl ... not just be infatuated with her personality.

oh, and also, she didn't motivate you to change yourself bro, you motivated yourself. so keep yourself motivated, the way life works you might land a broad that you like 10 times as much as this one and when it happens you'll never have imagined it to be possible. the more you know what you really like the more girls just get successively better.

peace.
k.