The man I love is my parents worst nightmare! Any hope?
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now. I am 25- he is 27. A few years ago, he had a bad problem with drugs and I stayed with him through the whole thing. My parents grew to dislike him strongly so I began to hide the relationship. He has been clean for over 2 years and he is doing much better with his life. They haven't been able to see this and they only remember him the way he was- the liar, stealer, manipulating person who ruined their view of him. I decided to hide the relationship from them.
Here is the problem... A few days ago my father found out where he lived and saw my car there. I have lied for years about being with him. It causes many problems in the relationship. My parents knew we kept in touch b/c they see my cell phone bill. I have 3 brothers... I am their only daughter and my whole life they have had such high expectations for me. We argued that night. We yelled, cried and my mother ended up telling me I can't live in their home if I stay with him. They talked down on him... I tried my hardest to convince them that he is a better person. They laughed at me. They told me they will NEVER accept him. They said they look down on me and if I was so confident with my relationship then why don't I move out. My mother said she was more hurt at the fact that I have lied to them so much. They say I'm selfish... I told them I lie b/c i knew this is how they would react and I didn't want them to be upset. I ALWAYS do things just to please other people. They feel like I'm ruining my life for this guy.
The reason why they can't trust that he has changed is b/c he hasn't once tried to fix things with them. He owes them money too. He never once tried to talk to them. They ran into him once in the last 3 years. I'm sick of living 2 lives. My b/f feels pressured now. He wants to pay them back but he is very short on $ right now. Besides, I don't know if they will think his gestures are sincere right now under these circumstances.
They haven't brought it up since that night. This was a week ago. I can't even see my b/f without them finding out. I haven't been able to even see him so much b/c I need to face this all first. He encourages me to talk to them... but I'm deathly afraid for some reason. I want to just come out and say something, but I don't know where to start. I wonder what my parents are thinking... do they think they convinced me since I haven't said anything yet? Do they expect me to listen to everything they tell me? I'm not... but don't know how to go about it. I need to stand up for myself for once and my b/f wants to do the same. Should I be blunt or passive? Should I write a letter? Should I really think about moving out (even though can hardly afford it with college right now)? How do I go about this to show them how I really feel? Please give me any advice. Thank You!!
|
Linear Mode
