hello,

i am a 23 yo. woman. i was dumped after being in a relationship lasting 1.5 years. its not that long i know but its the longest ihave ever been in. these are the reasons my ex gave me :

1.AGE -- as much as we laughed and joked about it, it was a factor. because
there were so many years, we just had a different mindset about things a lot of the time. You sensed that I didn't take you seriously and the truth is, that sometimes I didn't. the fact that you got a job ade things a little different, but I would always
be ahead of you in that respect (age) and it was hard not to be condescending
because of it. (shes nine years older than me)

2. CULTURAL STUFF - I think we were raised really different and it had a bigger
impact than either of us want toadmit. the fact hat you didn't get on with my family and could not understand how we relate to each other a lot of the time was something that really bothered me, and it was an issue that I felt would get worse, not better over time. (This was the first i was hearing about this as i was assured time and time again that her family LOVED me. but i wasnt surprised)

3. OVERSENSITIVITY - I can't help it if I'm a blunt person. obviously you're
not. very simple as far as I'm concerned, over time the way I relate to people would wear on your nerves more, and your ultrasensitive nature, would definitely drive
me crazy. (i am sensitive wont deny it)

4. ENTERTAINMENT - We already discussed this, no need to go there again! (basic, i think movies and tv are over rated. sure i will watch it if its on but i wont run home to get there in time for a show or movie. life first tv second, thats what we discussed.)

5. HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE - I can not have a partner that does not have their own
social agenda, or at least an agenda that is not forever based on what I'm
doing. Maybe you were trying, but I saw little evidence of it. Or maybe it was
a case of 2 little 2 late? You can also file this one under co-dependency if you
want. (this was simply not, true. i was un employed for a while, and when i did start working i was working part time. so of course i would be often bored with little to do. but i am the kind of person that gets bored waiting for the elevator. )


i think her reasons are crap. and i feel that we had a very very good relationship. in the end she was unwilling to put in anyeffort to save things when it got rough. but i feel at a great lost, because this is the first long term relationship i have been in. i felt i put in good time to try to make things work. i really tried. i ddint want us to end and the have to live with letting a good relationship sour without tring. i couldnt take that so tried.

i feel to that i am better adjected because while, i was unemployed for a long time, when i landed a job, it was one that i wanted, that made me feel good and one that pays very well. and not many people can say that at 23, hell she would say that till she was 31!!!

but i cant help feeling like she loved me well and now she doesnt love me anymore(thats what she said) and no will love me. also i went to her house to get the last of my things. and i have seenher this happy in months. its like in leaving me she won the lotery or something. at least thats how i felt. am i so horrible a person that even those with whom i had good relationships with are sooo excited and happy to be rid of me?

my ex could not be happier to have me gone. and it makes me feel like crap!!

upon second thought this might i hfitted better in "coping" but its to late now, i hope no one minds.

[moimeme]

In order for you to have a good relationship, both of you need to feel that it's a good relationship. She, clearly, did not. I'm sorry she seems happy without you, but she made her reasons clear to you. You may not believe them but that's unwise since people don't often make up that many reasons for not getting along.

You will find someone who you suit better and who will appreciate you.

Originally posted by moimeme
In order for you to have a good relationship, both of you need to feel that it's a good relationship. She, clearly, did not. I'm sorry she seems happy without you, but she made her reasons clear to you. You may not believe them but that's unwise since people don't often make up that many reasons for not getting along.

You will find someone who you suit better and who will appreciate you.

hard to explain. she said herself to was a good relatioship. she said today when i saw her that "thing were great 90% of time" blah blah and other such suchness. we really enjoyed each others company and always had a good time. its just not about beening happy, its about the things above listed. i think i felt she had been unhappy i would understand or at least not be as hurt as i am now.

i believe she feels what she wrote i just think that breaking up with someone beacue they dont like movies is stupid. that said people have the right to be as sstupid as they want.

somehow all of this makes it harder not easier.