Ok let me start with, Im overweight. But I still consider my self attractive but when it comes to men finding me attractive Im insecure. I feel like all men want a SLIM girl. And if I did get in a relationship I wouldnt want my partner going to porn for his needs,I dont ant my partner watching porn,but thats not the issue. Any advice?

[krbshappy71]

If it helps any, I am a SLIM girl and I have insecurities too. For me its boobs. I dont' have any. No seriously, I'm not even an A cup. Nothin. So here I am out with a bf and all I can see everywhere are chicks with BOOBS. Boobs everywhere. In my face, hanging out, tucked neatly in cute t-shirts, and I keep thinking, "my guy wishes I had boobs, what guy would NOT want those boobs....I hate Hooters and their BOOBS" And if the guy I'm with looks at porn, of course I think ,"DANG IT ITS THOSE BOOBS!" If I had boobs he wouldnt' look. (yah right.)

MY POINT IS: it really isn't your weight, I promise you. its just insecurity and we all have to beef ourselves up to stop it from getting us down. If you slimmed down, your brain could even pick something ELSE out to want. Would you honestly feel you were PERFECT if you just lost weight? All of us have our hang ups, don't forget that the man you are with does too.
Hope this helped??

[Thinkalot]

That's a good point. I am slim and I have insecurities too.

Work on loving you.

Haha, us women will always feel insecure from time to time. I have C cups, am slim, have a nice butt, AND I'm still insecure sometimes, wish I was taller! lol I'm only 5'3. So it goes to show, EVERYONE feels this way from time to time. No one's perfect, but most importantly, fixate on the parts of yourself that you do love!!!! But overall, learn to accept your body. If losing weight is the answer, make sure you are doing it for you, and not for any man. And for health reasons, that should be the most important reason. Also, exercising helps with feelings of depression, and on top of that, you end up with a hottie body in addition!!!!

Originally posted by krbshappy71
If it helps any, I am a SLIM girl and I have insecurities too. For me its boobs. I dont' have any. No seriously, I'm not even an A cup. Nothin. So here I am out with a bf and all I can see everywhere are chicks with BOOBS. Boobs everywhere. In my face, hanging out, tucked neatly in cute t-shirts, and I keep thinking, "my guy wishes I had boobs, what guy would NOT want those boobs....I hate Hooters and their BOOBS" And if the guy I'm with looks at porn, of course I think ,"DANG IT ITS THOSE BOOBS!" If I had boobs he wouldnt' look. (yah right.)

MY POINT IS: it really isn't your weight, I promise you. its just insecurity and we all have to beef ourselves up to stop it from getting us down. If you slimmed down, your brain could even pick something ELSE out to want. Would you honestly feel you were PERFECT if you just lost weight? All of us have our hang ups, don't forget that the man you are with does too.
Hope this helped??

I agree with this. Physical change is one thing, but work on your self esteem! There are plenty of people who undergo plastic surgery, and then their low self esteem leads to them fixating on something else they consider imperfect. It's a neverending battle! So to win the war, you must work on your self esteem. However, like my earlier post, I do believe that losing weight and exercising will make you feel better because you are doing something good for your health, AND exercising tends to make a person a lot more psychologically healthy!

I'm slim and have insurcure feeling too. Try website personal growth and that has issues on how to feel more surcure about yourself. also try lighting a white candle stare in to it see yourself as how you want people to see you and feel it breath it and tell yourself how you feel and will feel and blow out the candle and it may be a mental thing but it works!

[feistygyal]

women have got to stop being so critical about themselves. why is it that the bald headed pot bellied guy thinks he deserves nothing less than the most beautiful woman? we have got to stop beating ourselves up.

[sylviaguardian]

Originally Posted by feistygyal

women have got to stop being so critical about themselves. why is it that the bald headed pot bellied guy thinks he deserves nothing less than the most beautiful woman? we have got to stop beating ourselves up.

Exactly right. Women look at picture in magazines all the time and compare themselves. Men never do that! I too am slim and have my own personal hang-ups. I also have a couple of friends who are overweight but look fantastic and get plenty of attention from men. I think it's because they make the best of themselves (nice clothes, hair, make-up etc) but more importantly they smile, laugh a lot and are always good company. The majority of people (including men!) find that beguiling.

Sylvia