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Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 23rd April 2004, 5:29 PM   #1
aebabigurl40
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Red face ...Problem...

[font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] I have a guy for a best friend. He is always there for me, and hes always by myside to listen. We have been friends for 3 years now, but ever since the beginning of this year things have been different. We told each other how we both would like to be more than friends, and how we feel perfect for each other. Its been 4 months since that one night where we told each other EVERYTHING about how we feel for each other. We haven't been talking as much as we used to, but i know that the feeling is still there. I think he is afraid to show his feelings towards me, and take things to the next level, yet he is wasting time and if we weren't going to be together next year, why not make the best of the time we have? People have talked to him and he said he still felt the same as he did before, yet he said he was afraid of us not being together next year. Is there something I can do to take things to the next level, or should I talk to him about it?

(Question to a Guy): Why do you think he would want to have waited this long?
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Old 24th April 2004, 3:03 AM   #2
average guy
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because he is shy and unsure about getting hurt. I just suggested to someone else in a very similar situation for her to make the first move.

here's part of the post:

I would advise YOU to take the next step and not wait for him. He sounds shy and maybe not so sure of himself, and I think you could risk making the first move and it would be o.k. Just make it something funny that you can get out of it doens't seem what he wants. Maybe say somthinge like, "you know -his name- we've been friends for 6 years and been threrw alot. probably the only thing we havent done is slept with each other" see how he responds to something like that. If he freezes up, then kiss him. If he loks like you judt told him he was the ugliest toad on the earrth, then say something like "and that's probably what makes us such good friends"

Good luck

...and le me know how it goes

cheers,

A.G.
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Old 25th April 2004, 9:57 PM   #3
aebabigurl40
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Smile

Thanks for your reply..A.G...if i kud really get some more..it wud help..
Thanks,
*me
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Old 30th April 2004, 2:52 PM   #4
FolderWife
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Sounds to me like he doesn't want to ruin a good thing. If you are....say...16, and you get together, your relationship probably won't last, because you are young, and immature, and rarely do 16 year olds stay together. Now, if the two of you wait until you are...say...18, then your relationship may have a chance of turning into lasting love. If you wait until you are 20, and both have good jobs, then your relationship may bloom into marriage.

Maybe he cares so much about you, and thinks so much of you, that he wants to wait until something will come of your relationship before persuing it. Maybe he's decided that you are "the one" and he wants to make your relationship work...and as far as he knows, the only way for that to happen, is by waiting.

Maybe his parents won't allow him to have a girlfriend.

Maybe he thinks that you'll want to have sex, but he's not ready, so rather than be all embarassed about it, he just decides not to date you.

Maybe he likes things the way they are, and now he's afraid it's going to change.

Tooooooooo many possiblities.
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Old 14th June 2004, 10:13 PM   #5
brooke lauren*
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yea.

maybe he just doesnt like you and doesnt want to persue anything with you and you are just reading the signals wrong, maybe he thinks your ugly or something, maybe he likes some other girl..you never know!!! or maybe he does like you..well good luck anyways!
- love yah , brooke b. -
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Old 18th June 2004, 2:16 AM   #6
aebabigurl40
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GOOD NEWS! *We did take things to the next level, and we are more than friends now..alot more.. :-D
!Things couldnt get much better!

..and from that last reply..thanks for trying..but im NOT UGLY, and he doesnt think that..but thanks anyways i guess.
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Old 18th June 2004, 3:32 AM   #7
moimeme
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Congratulations!
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
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Old 19th June 2004, 12:19 PM   #8
stephhhh
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Smile bretttt n jessssss

heres my theory, i think that he hasnt asked you out yet because hes exploring his options and making sure that your the one for him, so that he never has to hurt you later on, because thats the last thing he would ever want to do. and no brooke b. whoever you are he does not think shes ugly and he does like her..im positive, and if you knew **** about **** then you would realize that but you obviously dont so maybe you should just keep ur lil thoughts to yourself!!!
- good job in the movie last night :-) im proud of you..hahha :-D-

*goodluck jess!! i know youll get the guy*

JESS AND BRETT ARE THE CUTEST THING EVERRRRRRRR!!!
hahah well ttyl jess! luv yah! bffaeaeae!

-Stefuhknee Uhlaynuh-
-hhahah-
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