[flsgirl]

Well, I've been broken up with my ex since August. I was devastated and thought my world was over (we were together for 3 years and he broke up with me). He moved back home across the country and I decided to stay here. It took me a long time to stop crying. Last November I was home for Thanksgiving and we saw each other and he realized he still wanted to be with me. We were going to try to work things out and then I was going to move back home after my contract was up with my job.

Needless, trying to fix a relationship over the phone isn't easy. We didn't make it. So in February I said this isn't going to work and we can't talk for awhile so I can heal.

I'm doing really well now, even had dated a little, and this morning brought me back to those old feelings of him. I got an e-mail from him saying hi and I hope that I'm doing well. I want to e-mail, but I don't think I'm quite ready to be in contact with him yet. I do want to be friends with him eventually, I just can't do it now.

Should I completely ignore his e-mail or should I reply and say thanks and give him a little update and then tell him I'm not ready to talk yet?

[Just Visiting]

Hi flsgirl;

I have been in that type of situation with my ex re-establishing contact. Just when I was doing fine and getting along without him, he calls...wanting to talk. Needless to say, it backtracked my healing process.

Based on my experience, it would be best to let a day or two go by before responding to him. It is nice to hear from an ex but you have to sit and think of how it makes you feel, and what you want. From your post, you are sad and hurt that the relationship didn't work out. It will be like that for awhile. Even if the relationship ended on amicable terms, you still need to care for yourself.

If you do respond, make it short and sweet. Thank him for the email and say that you are doing fine. No need to get into details on what is going on with you. At the end, say "Take Care". An offhand way of ending the conversation.

If he persists with the emails, etc., then you will need to be upfront in saying that it is not a good time to establish any type of friendship. You have things to take care of...and once more time has passes then MAYBE you will be open to talking again. Hope this helps.

[DayumQuitPlayin]

Yea I agree.. cuz usually.. you'll get bacc-tracc'd n sumtymes those feelnz comes bacc up.. causin false hope. He tha one who want'd ta break it off witchu.. and you tha one who wuz left feeln hurt.. now that ur feeln better.. seein new pplz.. u can let him bring u bacc down. Tho he wants ta get bacc wit u.. i feel that its better that u dont.. but if you wanna remain friends..then thats good.. cuz its better to have friends than enemies.

Yea.. give it a few days.. then reply. Be vague.. thank him for emailin u.. tell him jus simple things.. and leave it at that. He doesn't necessarily need to kno everything.. cuz he's nolonger your man. Be friendly, but don't give off tha vibe that ur accepting. If he starts to email you alot.. i would suggest that you email him a long letter telling him that you dont wish to speak to him on a regular basis.. that your in tha process of recovering.. and that ur doin well. That you dont wanna have any connections to tha past. Once you get urself situated.. and feel ready.. then you should mayb have a better relationship wit him

But dis iz only my opinion.. as i tell others.. only You can make the decisions.. specially since these feelings are yours ..and only you can kno tha full details. Wutever u choose.. i wish tha best of lucc for u