[torngirl]

I left my husband 2-1/2 weeks ago. We are going to counceling tonight so that I can explain to him that I only married him because I was "supposed to." I know it sounds crazy, but growing up as the responsible child, the reasonable adult and now the favorite married daughter, I felt like I had to marry him. He is so good to me. I think that I was just in love with the way that he loved me. I knew that I had to leave before we had children and ended up resenting one another. Am I crazy for leaving a man so wonderful? I feel like a monster. He already has pretty low self-esteem.


Can anyone help me figure out what to and what not to say in counceling tonight?

[shamen]

Are you sure that you want to go to counseling with him for the first visit? I assume that this is your first visit... It sounds like you may need to figure out what you want to say first on your own before the both of you go together.

Obviously you want to do this, but at the same time I'm sure that you don't want to hurt his feelings.

Why are the two of you going together anyway? Is it marriage counseling? I thought that this was to tell him that it's over... I didn't know that they had counselors for the break up part...?

[CurlyIam]

I don't believe in reherseals. So go there, listen to your man, and when asked try to be as honest and as opened possibly. I don't think there are DO and DON'T"s for this one.

Only for the record:you are doing the best thing by leaving, I totally understand your situation. But just because someone has a beautiful personality, doesn't mean you're inlove with them. Be true to yourself and it'll be ok.

[torngirl]

Thank you so much for your responses. My husband and I went to the counselor and it went well. I think that he understands why I did what I did and he appreciated my leaving him now instead of later, as weird as that sounds. The counselor was great, even though I was apprehensive about going, and he even suggested that we divorce for the sake of the both of us.

This is such a great forum to release how I feel. I hope that others take advantage of this site as well. The kind words and advice make me feel like I am not alone.

[shamen]

Torngirl, I'm glad that the counseling session went well. Both happy and sad for you feel like you got what you needed out of the session (the suggestion for a divorce, as they are never fun). You are very lucky in that your (soon to be ex) husband was responsive and understood.

Good luck with wherever it goes from here!