[bluebells2]

My story is below. Now my husbands work "friend" is going around his job saying that my husband led her on. Telling stories about how he was going to leave me (the wife and his 5 month old daughter) to be with her. Now he may have slept w/ her...I really don't know. I KNOW he would never leave his child for her and I KNOW he never said that. That much is a lie. He was a child of divorce and he never wants it for his own child. I KNOW. She told all the co-workers and his boss. He is really upset because he says they never had an affair, they were just friends. He feels humilated! He says it just goes to show what different kinds of people she and I are. She went out and told anyone who would listen to her. I talked to his sister only because I was going to move his stuff to her house and she needed to know why. He is under sever stress because his entire division of his company is laying everyone off in 2 months and his car is broken down and we cannot afford a new one. The car place is unable to locate even the problem in his engine to fix it. They cannot duplicate the problem, but the engine cuts off. I am pissed and angry w/ him about this girl calling our home and telling me they are having an affair. We are so far apart right now and I don't know how to make it work. Any help or suggestions would be great. We are going to stay together both for our daughter and because we love each other. Thanks.

[Becks84]

Can YOU truly believe him, and trust him? You know him best. That lady could have very well made this all up for whatever reason. People do crazy things that we can't always explain.

What does he say in his defense? If you truly want to stay with him, then you two need to sort through this as best you can. Figure out what needs to be done for you to feel better. Have you thought about that at all, what you need now?

My boyfriend kinda-sorta cheated on me, and we compromised on what needs to be done from now on until I completely trust him again. I dont like having "rules" and such, but it's the only way that I will get over this and put this behind me, so that we can go on like before.

The only way you two will truly be good again is if you can honestly completely put this in the past and leave it there. YOu need to be able to trust him, and you need to be okay with what happened.

There are books and things on relationships that can be of great help. I personally am reading books right now, and I joined this forum for advice, and most important to me, I have turned to God and my faith for comfort. I need strength and wisdom to get past this. YOu too need strength to get past this and truly be over it.

If you just go on pretending everything is okay, it will keep on coming back and it will begin to eat you up inside. Everyone finds strength in different ways and you and I will need different things to help us get over what has happened to us.

I know that I needed an understanding of it, I needed to talk it out, I needed to cry and yell, I needed to throw sarcastic comments at him...and then after I dealt with what had happened, I {not anyone else} needed to truly believe and know for myself that he was remorseful, and I needed to begin to trust that something like this would never happen again.

I am working very hard on stopping the sarcastic comments and I am doing all I can to put this behind me and move on with him, as he is doing all he can to help in this process.

I really want everything to go back to normal, and I believe it will with some time, so I'm sticking with that. We both want this, so we will make it work together. I hope you got something out of my own experience!

I don't know exactly what your husband did...I don't think I got to read your first post. But, best of luck to you! Feel free to write again if you ever need to.

~Becks