Being in love is nice. That is the reality of it. There is no substitute for it. The emotional warmth, the intimacy. Being in love is like a drug. Its worse than cocaine because it is a total need. We need that person's body, mind and soul. Its not just one thing that we can snort or inhale and we get our fix. Its not so simple. Its sitting next to somebody and just feeling their effluences. Its being absent from that person and just feeling pain and hurt and FEAR. Thats the big one, if your not feeling big fear you are not in love, not in big love, small love, riskless love, safe love. Real love at times can be terrifying. Is this person cheating, do they love me, am I doing everything right, how do I look, what will other people think of us???? These are questions that we all have and things that we all feel when we are in love. These are powerful emotions that we can't escape. Hopefully, we can keep control of those little demons, those little fears and we won't let them turn into big ones and ruin everything. Maybe, some of us let them ruin everything over and over again.
Chances are the person is not deceiving us, not cheating on us, perhaps they are in love with us as much as them. That is the reasonable thing to think. But what is reasonable against the fear, the dreaded fear that we might lose them, that something, anything might rip us apart, perhaps forever? To make matters worse it is possible that they can be lying, they can be cheating, they can be planning to use us and then let us go, and break our fragile hearts, decapacitating our ability to love again. There are so many risks, I can understand if a person did not want to take a chance, to love. That said however, what is our purpose for being here if we don't find somebody to love. Then our life may be be filled with charitable works and good service, but in reality it won't have much meaning, we will just sort of be floating along, rootless, living an empty, meaningless existence.
I personally will fight the fear and take my chances in my life. I realize that people are not or will never be perfect. I will take the good with the bad and try to celebrate both as much as I can, trying not to take too much personally, because as strong as I can be can people still might not treat me right, because the world in some cases doesn't treat them right. I understand this when I deal with humans, when I deal with a lover. Life is hard, I have to have sympathy and compassion, even for my own sake, or I will look at people in the wrong light, a light too harsh to give full respect to the human soul. I realize in a utopia I might find perfect love, a perfect lover, but I don't live in a utopia, so I know all I will find is "tainted love". I accept that, I appreciate that, and in my acceptance and presence, there is the love I seek, real love, the only love there is.
Last edited by capitald; 17th April 2004 at 7:10 AM..
Its being absent from that person and just feeling pain and hurt and FEAR. Thats the big one, if your not feeling big fear you are not in love, not in big love, small love, riskless love, safe love. Real love at times can be terrifying. Is this person cheating, do they love me, am I doing everything right, how do I look, what will other people think of us????
Quote:
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes them even more trustworthy.
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Don't confuse love with comfort or you can set yourself up to get the illusion of love and not the real thing. Also, a person can be in love with someone and still have doubts about their behavior when they are not around. However, I agree to move towards "intimacy" one needs to feel a certain level of trust. Love is not having your checklist of wants and needs fufilled. It is not what happens at Kohls or Target. Love is what it is or rather it is what you get and Forest Gump said it best, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get".
p.s. i like your quote Moimeme i.e. "that which appears difficult..."
Last edited by capitald; 17th April 2004 at 12:11 PM..
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