I have been married for 2 years and we have a 5 month baby. Some girl called my husbands cell phone on Sat and said she was his girlfriend. She says they date and she sees him at work. She says they have sex etc. I confronted him and he says they are freinds, but nothing more. He asks when he would have time to see her. Also her story does not ad up. What do I do, how do I see if this story is real or not? Thanks. He is a wonderful father and husband though.
How'd she get his cell phone number? Tell your husband he needs to put a stop to that if he wants to keep his family together. Some men love the attention - is he doing anything to lead this girl on?
If he's being faithful and he loves you - he will confront this girl and keep her out of your lives. It's up to him to deal with this woman.
Is this girl married? I wonder how she would feel sitting home with a new baby getting a phone call like that? be ready for her with a dose of reality in case she calls again. Do you really want him when he will be paying for this kid and the one i'm pregnant with now for the next 18 years. Spice it up as needed...she sounds like a teenager....
__________________
I don't need know one to tell me about Heaven I look at my daughter and i believe...............
No offence to the women but a lot of them can be psycho. Cell numbers are easily obtained and this could be just some girl who has a crush on him. If he has given you no reason to suspect infidelity, talk to him--point blank ask (and if his eyes look downward to the right--it is a sign he may not be truthful--an interrogation tip). You are still young in a marraige and there are a lot of tough times ahead of you (sorry--there are tough times for everyone) and with the new baby, communication will be essential. If you two are 100% honest (no matter the hurt it may cause) I suspect that you will have a lasting love--without the psycho wench from hell. As an example, a buddy of mine is in the throes of a dicorce and some girl (according to his estranged ex) called the house in the middle of the night (her house) and said that Brian had got her pregnant and she needed to talk with him. Now the truth--I took Biran to get snipped oh six months ago. And to this minute, he is still whining that he has not had sex in so long (that was one of the marraige problems) and he needs to find someone. So, there is no understanding of the female psyche.
Jeff Foxworthy had a vulgar yet laughable comment...do you realize that the really bad word sometimes used to describe a female reproductive organ which rhymes with runt--is truly an acronym
Can't Understand Normal Thinking! (Hey don't shoot the messenger!)
Well she says they spend every weekend together? How could that be since my family is at home. She says he rents a room from me and that she cannot come to visit where he lives because he does not want to be loud out of repect to me the landlord. Right....if she has dated him for 2 years how come she has never seen his home. Dumb girl if she believes it. I do believe that my husband has led her on, unintentionally. They were friends and my husband has trouble saying "no" to anyone, so I think he was really nice to her and she misunderstood. Girl has a lot of emotional problems. I do think he did never tell her she was married. She was really surprised. My husband swear, and looking me in the face and eyes that he never had sex w/ her and they are just friends. She had his cell phone # because they are friends. I was fine w/ that just that he lied about her and to her. For the sake of my daughter I will give him another chance. He is a great father to her and it is not fair to her to be raised by a single mother! She can do better. If my husband does one thing wrong, I have made it clear to him that he is out! He is sad and very contrite....hopefully he will be better.
(and if his eyes look downward to the right--it is a sign he may not be truthful--an interrogation tip).
Good tip. I've got some others
1. For a man, if the have a pretty lengthy "story", especially one that has negativity in it or is comical, keep your eyes open. Reason being, it is women that tend to "rattle" on, not men. Men are pretty much point blank, yes/no creatures. Also, they tend to dream up a story that is either negative or funny. For the negative one, something like, "Oh, I got stuck in traffic, and I had to sit there for an hour! I was so mad, and it put me in a bad mood for the day, because I had that meeting and presentation..." I mean, if it is likely that traffic could have been bad at that time of day, that's one thing. That might not have even been the best example, either.
2. If you hear, "I swear on my grandmother's grave I didn't do anything with this woman!" Having to add something powerful like that to back the truth....look out for this one.
Originally posted by bluebells2
Well she says they spend every weekend together? How could that be since my family is at home. She says he rents a room from me and that she cannot come to visit where he lives because he does not want to be loud out of repect to me the landlord. Right....if she has dated him for 2 years how come she has never seen his home. Dumb girl if she believes it. I do believe that my husband has led her on, unintentionally. They were friends and my husband has trouble saying "no" to anyone, so I think he was really nice to her and she misunderstood. Girl has a lot of emotional problems. I do think he did never tell her she was married. She was really surprised. My husband swear, and looking me in the face and eyes that he never had sex w/ her and they are just friends. She had his cell phone # because they are friends. I was fine w/ that just that he lied about her and to her. For the sake of my daughter I will give him another chance. He is a great father to her and it is not fair to her to be raised by a single mother! She can do better. If my husband does one thing wrong, I have made it clear to him that he is out! He is sad and very contrite....hopefully he will be better.
Well, you don't have a smoking gun. BUT, keep your eyes peeled all the same. Personally, I don't think it is appropriate behavior for how your husband has handled things with this woman. He definitely should have told her he was married. He should not have been giving her his cell phone number. He's married, and from what you have described, quite happily. The word "no" should never be something difficult to say if you are married.
If you're going to trust your husband and want to save this marriage, your husband needs to take responsibility for a few things. His priority should be his wife and daughter, not the feelings of this girl. Whether or not they had an affair, her behavior could continue to harm your marriage.
He needs to stop having contact with this girl, and to firmly tell her this. He also should tell her to stop contacting his family. If it comes to the point where he needs to find another job, he should do so.
He needs to get a new cell phone number, and not tell this girl what it is.
OK, first, he needs to set this woman straight and to your satisfaction. (that was a period at the end of that sentence)
Now, as a bit of an explanation....you have been married two years. I assume you are relatively young and you have a 5 month baby. When you got married I imagine that there was a lot of sex (yes a lot of times it DOES boil down to that) So, you guys probably had that newleywed bliss for a year and then morning sickness may have set in. You may have felt unattractive and pushed him off, or he may have felt you were unattractive (IMHO a pregnant woman is one of the sexiest creatures out there--until the belly button pops). Now comes the trauma (medical term) of childbirth and your life is instantly changed forever. I will assume that the frequency of sex and attention has gone down considerably in the past two years and now here is another woman showing some interest. It is reasonable to expect he migh tbe flattered or intrigued. But, as I said, he needs to know that the rules are different now and that there is a daughter to support as well as a wife.
Kids are a strain on any relationship (flog me now but I do believe that--but I also think they are wonderful at the same time) and your energies will be focused on your daughter moreso than him. This is natural and to be expected. But, speaking from experience, I encourage you to NOT forget him. Do not push him to the back burner and MAKE TIME for yourselves. Even if you two can only get a babysitter once a month, do it! Remember that it was the two of you that brought this girl into the world and you need to be there for both him and her just as he needs to be there for you and her.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
