[mb2cute]

Ok, I have been married over 2 years now. me and my husband seperated in august and just moved bak intogether in february. during the seperatoin, i thought i was going to die without him. i wanted and enjoyed being with him all the time. but now that we live together again, he just doesnt make me happy. i dont know if it's just because im still hurt for him just leaving me without an idea he was even unhappy or if he is just not the guy for me.

lately i catch myself being turned on by the idea of myself with a new person. any goodlookin guy i see, im thinking, "i want someone like that"and so on. i have dreams about other men that dont even exist. i just dont know if im going to get past this, or if im always going to feel like this. i dont want to tell him i want a divorce and then realize i really want to be with him.

but there are so many things about him i cant stand, i feel like in the last 4 years of our relationship i have really grown as as a person but he has not changed at all. i still have to remind him to pick up his stuff around the house like he's a little. kid.

Help, has anyone ever gone through this, what did you do?

[moimeme]

he just doesnt make me happy

Nobody 'makes you happy'. Your attitude comes from within.

i still have to remind him to pick up his stuff around the house like he's a little. kid

Have you discussed this with him? Have you discussed any of your issues or is he rolling along figuring things are the same not knowing you have all these thoughts? How do you know he doesn't want to change but isn't doing so because he thinks you like him the way he is?

People aren't mind-readers. If you have issues, you need to discuss them. With him.

[mb2cute]

That is the frustrating part. I have told him many times. Uncountable times. He says he knows he needs to grow up but he never does anything different. Now im at the point where obviously he isnt going to change these things, and i dont even know if it matters that he does at this point. Like maybe it's gone too far.

[moimeme]

Then tell him it's getting towards deal-breaking time and he is going to have to walk his talk or face the consequences. Men are notorious for not thinking they are bugging women nearly as badly as they are. You ask nicely, ask more forcefully, negotiate, tell, beg, plead, pray, yell, and try everything in the book and after you divorce them they say 'I didn't think it was a big deal'. Not exactly sure what the answer to that is unless you turn of the TV, sit in front of him, touch his arm, stare into his eyes, and say 'if you don't quit X, I am out of here'.