[archangel753a]

Hi everyone, i posted here a while back and have since resolved the situation. Thanks to everyone who helped, though i regret to say that it didn't end as well as i had hoped. However that is the past and i am more concerned with the present. I hope someone can help.

Here's my problem. After dating a girl for 1 1/2 years she dumped me for various reasons, including the one posted a while back. Anyway, i almost immediately started dating again and was set up with this wonderful girl and what not and we dated for just short of two months. She dumped me for mostly one reason, to get with another guy. Anyway, i am still dealing with it all and i was looking for a little information that i think would help greatly.

What i really want to know is if there is some kind of pattern that people go through before they get back to some form of normality. Like, do people go through a set pattern of emotions or feelings? I understand that people who lose friends or family to death or know that they are dying go through a bunch of emotions before finally accepting it and i wanted to know if the same kind of thing applies here. If anyone can direct me to this information it would be greatly appreciated, if such a thing exists. Thanks for you help both now and before.

[Karlise]

As i remember it:


Stage 1 Really sad, confused, doubtful, hurt. Hoping for reconciliation. Thinking about person constantly. Wavering between fury and despondancy.

Best plan of action: STAY BUSY. Work, start playing a sport, join a club, take a class. Immerse yourself in other things. Especially things that help you feel healthier and feel good about yourself.


Stage 2 Recklessness Kind of over it..... but still sort of want to 'prove' to the other person that they messed up. Characterized by partying, dating, not getting too deep with anyone. Kind of hoping you'll run into the ex so that they can see how great you look and what a good time you're having. Revenge fantasies.

Best plan of action: Don't string other people along if you are in this phase. If you are dating anyone, keep it casual. Don't fell in love too quickly. Don't become dependent on anyone too quickly.


Stage 3 Really Moving On At this point, you are ready for a new relationship (if that's your goal)
The idea of hooking up with the ex leaves you thinking, "Oh my God...what was I thinking when I was with him/her?"

[Arabess]

Yeah....I was going to say that JMargel had a real good one posted awhile back.....but I think you covered the most important parts.

[moimeme]

You can look up 'Stages of Grief'. There are five, starting with denial and moving through acceptance.