[jenniferlong00]

I have recently reconciled with my husband after a 9 month separation. We separated while I was 7 mos pregnant because we were having problems, then I found out he was having an affair of which I didn't find out about until about 3 weeks before I had my son.

The affair didn't start until after he left the house and lasted for about a month and a half. It was with a 19 year old girl who he worked with. (He is 30, I'm 29) He says that he realized he was making a mistake and would have ended it sooner but didn't want me to find out about her. (We only had one car at the time and she would have seen me dropping him off at work again cause they worked together.) And was trying to end it with her slowly cause she kept threatening to get ahold of me to tell me if she suspected that he was leaving her to come back to me.

He has been trying to get me back since I had the baby, but I've been telling him that I want a divorce and left him alone to do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted. I find out that he went back to her after I moved out of the house but now he says it was only because he was hurt that I didn't give him a chance and thought I was dating other people and finally couldn't deal with not being with me. He has begged me back and I finally gave in, but everyone I know keeps telling me that I'm doing the wrong thing and that he'll do it again.

I need help! Is everyone right?! Am I making a mistake?!

[tattoomytoe]

personally i would not ever trust him again.

[Reckless]

He says that he realized he was making a mistake and would have ended it sooner but didn't want me to find out about her.... And was trying to end it with her slowly

hog-wash.

he went back to her after I moved out of the house but now he says it was only because he was hurt that I didn't give him a chance and thought I was dating other people and finally couldn't deal with not being with me.

hog-wash with knobs on.

Your husband seems to lie like he breaths and that's a very bad sign. However, you have, according to your post already reconciled with him and, I presume, are prepared to give him a chance to be a good husband and father. As long as he doesn't mistreat you or the baby and you feel you can believe he has ended the affair, I don't think anyone should discourage you from at least giving your family your best shot.

Good luck, you're gonna need it.

[Dixiecron]

Hmmm.

I have a half brother that I have never met in my life. He is no more than 9 months younger than me. You do the math.

Speaking from some experience on the child's side of this sort of situation I would say you shouldn't trust him and get out while you can.

[Helluvagurl]

This is entirely your choice. I would give him a second chance ONLY after some serious counseling. There are problems in your marriage aka him cheating!

It is going to take hard work, dedication and a lot of talking and help.

Good Luck!

In the first paragraph of your post, you'd written that you've reconciled with your cheating husband. But then toward the end of your post, you wrote this:

"He has been trying to get me back since I had the baby, but I've been telling him that I want a divorce and left him alone to do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted."

So if he's trying to get you back, I take it you're not YET back together? Or are you?

The fact that he ended up back with the teenybopper, when he left....that shows he wasn't very remorseful at all..........and I don't think he can be trusted.

This chick he cheated with...the 19yr old...you'd mentioned that she works with you both. Does she still? Does he STILL see her at work? If so, that in itself would be a huge concern, if I were in your shoes.

[Karlise]

THis guy just seems so completely without ethics or morals...it's staggering.


So he not only cheats on you while you're pregnant....he goes BACK with this girl, a teenager no less, after you leave him?

Because....let me get this straight...he figured you'd be dating someone else?

Oh my God, I want to slap him ten times sideways. What a load of horsecrap.

Listen, I'm sure you're hurting. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Not to mention, I'm sure you want the father of your child to be involved somehow in the child's upbringing.

That said, I can't imagine letting him back in until:


* He agrees to counseling of some kind

* He comes to terms with why he needed to cheat in the first place and can honestly and openly discuss it

* He can demonstrate that he feels remorse for hurting you


Good luck