[bigcat22]

Believe it or not I was in an affair with a married woman for 15 years. Just recently we decided to finally set it right. We agreed to no contact for at least 6 months. During this time we are both getting a divorce and basically getting free. We are trusting that around the end of the 6 month period we will get back together and give a real relationship a chance. Does this make sense? Any one else gone through this?

[NatoPMT]

thats some affair

what made you finally decide to make the break from your spouses? do they know about your affair? and do you trust her to go through with this? if she didnt, would you still go through your divorce? sorry not to answer your questions, but i havent been through anything like that

BB

Does it make sense for both of you, while divorcing your respective spouses, to suddenly break off a 15 year affair/relationship. No. If there's ever a time of need for support, love and solace it is when you're both ending long term marriages. I can't fathom why you'd adopt a no contact policy while undergoing painful divorces.

It would make more sense to cease all contact for 6 months now and work on your respective marriages without the draining diversion of an affair. If, at the end of 6 months of absolutely no contact , you both want out, then you can both leave your spouses. That makes more sense.

Since you have been livng double live for 15 years, adding another 15 years wouldnt make any differences.

Probably both of your spouses know about the affair and are pretty much used to it.

I wouldnt call this kind of marriage "respective". and this kind of people "respectful" but how others see you wouldnt matter that much to you at all

So, to leave or stay, whatever you feel convenient, and your spouses feel comfortable.

[Arabess]

What happens at the end of the six month No Contact if she changes her mind about hooking up with you and decides to live 'free and single' for awhile????

I know that happened to someone else who posted on here who had been in an 8 year relationship.

It's hard to believe.....but wierd things happen.

Did you come up with the no contact deal....or was it her idea?

[bigcat22]

The no contact was her idea. She has been seeing a therapist for about six months and sez she is on a amazing journey of self discovery. She says she has all the things wrong in her life on this mental list and is determined to fix them all. She sez when we get a real chance it will be great

[Arabess]

I would think that there is a possibilty she is connecting her relationship with you to the memories of her bad marriage. I suppose she needs time to muddle thru that before deciding if she still wants to continue a relationship with you once the dust settles. She MAY decide to make a clean break from all of her past.

I think you should guard your heart.