[curiousgeorge]

Dear all:

I have posted earlier about this girl I met two years ago. She came back into my life in December and we have been shooting e-mails to one another since she lives far away now. I am 39 and divorced and she is single and 35 but has never been married. We have stepped up the e-mails recently because she will be returning to her my hometown soon to live here again. I am very excited about this. She left a tremendous impression on me from the first time I saw her. There is a problem as usual.

I asked her why she had not been married bfore... because she is extremely beautiful and very accomplished. Her response was that she often got involved in relationships with men who were not good for her. She listed commitmentphobics, married men as her past boyfriends. She insisted that she had much better choices when she was younger. And she claimed that she had turned down eligible and good guys. When I asked her why she does that ... she told me she did not know why and that it disturbed her greatly as well.

I am really talking to her a lot lately and I feel really drawn to her. I am worried that she could turn me away too. So the burning question in my mind is: Should I risk getting hurt? I have been through a very ugly divorce several years ago and this is the first time that I felt the sparks fly since then. She is truly something remarkable and sometimes I even feel like I want to marry her.

There is one other thing I don't understand. Since she is so incredible, why would she want to be with people who make her feel bad? Also do you really think she does not know why she does this? Or is she being evasive? Your thoughts will be immensly appreciated.

[tattoomytoe]

maybe she does not see herself as a wonderful person who deserves a wonderful man. she may also set herself up to fail. maybe you should be the good guy and try to claim her.

[Arabess]

I'm not prone to commit either. I DO try to be upfront about it when dating. However, I have no way of knowing that the next guy I'm with will make all the fear and doubts go away.

You may end up being this guy for her.

And you may not.

Love is ALWAYS a risk. You being willing to take it....may be her only way of her own fear.

[Leikela]

Love is all about risk! Anytime you fall in love with someone, you are always taking a risk. With that said, I say go for it. Just be yourself and if she doesn't reciprocate, she doesn't reciprocate. There will be others... Hey, if you don't give it a shot, you'll never know what could have been.

[overseas2004]

Being like this myself I would say try to be nice and a good guy but dont show all your cards up front. Its precisely this kind of behavior that drives me away from the nicer ones. So I am just saying what I think.

But go for it yeah.. yes you could get hurt but I would try it.