I need some advice...I just got out of a 9 month relationship, basically i think she was seeing her boss, and she spent the night out, came home w/lovebites on her neck. I confronted her about it and she said it came ffrom a girl, I know she lied. I took off to seattle on the train, and didnt tell her i was leaving. she knows im out here now. she found out i left from people around town, 2 days after i left her boss called my phone at 3 am threatening me, that kind of made me wonder whether they were having an affair. anyway, i wrote her a letter saying if she was truthful, i would take her back, before she got the letter, she was willing to send my clothes and belongings to me, now she refuses and told me never to call her again. what do you think she is thinking...???If she doesnt want the relationship, why would she keep my things? I know she has lied about alot of things, I have been here almost 2 weeks now and I miss her, I would forgive her for everything, but i dont know what to do, I left her a message telling her, I forgive her, but she responded with Nastiness, and says I wont get my things. I know she was with somebody else, I wouldnt have exited the relationship on an assumption, do you think she regrets it? why the keeping of my clothes? why do i miss her even though she did what she did? I really love this girl, but I dont know what shes thinking, and we havent spoke for 4 days, each of us told the other off, but something tells me she did it out of anger that i left.....i just need some feedback.
i got a few posts on this situation.....I am an honest person, She has usually played mind games in the past as a way of coercion to get me to come back to her....like holding my mail. one time my paycheck went to the apartment, she said it never came, then a week later she said it was there, I dont understand why her manipulative nature, except maybe she is insecure w herself. and if she was so in love and fearful of me leaving her, why did she go out and do the one thing, i told her i would leave her for.....cheating? I need more advice from you guys, I still have strong feelings, and the breakup was sudden , drastic and extreme, I left without a goodbye or anything. actually, we woke up, this was the morning after i found out she cheated, 24 hrs later, I told her we were out of coffee, she goes "well go get some..., I left for the store, and went to the trainstation, I never went back. I need some more feedback on what might be going thru her head, her motives
Dude, here's my advice: forget about this woman. She's of no use to you whatsoever. Easier said than done, I know, but look at the cost of keeping her versus the cost of cutting your losses by letting her run her game on some other unsuspecting guy. That's the first step.
The next step is going to be more important. ND, you have to improve your self esteem. No guy with a high sense of self-worth would let some two-bit tramp cheat, blackmail, and otherwise screw him over...and still take her back. You've found yourself in a predatory relationship. She's the predator, and you're the prey. Not long after she met you, she got the vibe that you were gonna take her *****, and you know what? She was right. You did. You still are. Stop takin it. Move on with your life, and let this be a lesson learned and the start of taking a closer look at what you really want out of a relationship.
Hope this helps.
Oh, and about your things...tell her if she doesn't want to return what is rightfully yours, either your lawyer or a police officer can assist her.
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