hi, i hope someone can give me some much needed advice. i have just broke up with my partner after 11 years together, we have 2 wonderful children together but i cant take the situation much more you see ever since we met he has never held down a permanent job he is always in and out of work (more out) and when he is not working he makes no real effort to find another job, this time he has been out of work since august last year, he spends his day mostly in bed while im worrying about the unpaid bills. i do have to add that this even though a big one is his only fault, he is good with the children they adore him and when he is working we do get on fine i just don't no what to do i feel im going nowhere and i don't wanna be stuck in this same rut in another 11years, i have tried talking to him and he makes all the promises only for it to back to normal a few weeks later. its not as if he finds it hard to get work cause of his age or anything he is only 32. Thanks for reading this and thanks to any advice you can give me.
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Wow...I can see why you would be frustrated and fed up. He's not pulling his share of the load/bargain. My curiosity lies with what was his job situation when you met him and started dating...you said he was like that ever since you met. If his lack of good work ethics were a problem then, and you accepted him for who and what he is then, then here you are. It's a tough pill to swallow, but you aren't going to change someone.
I suppose you either take it or leave it. If you've decided to leave it, then don't be expecting him to change. If someone changes it should be done on their own accord.
Since he is the father of your children, and you do still care for him as a person, then your divorce/split should be very amicable.
Yes he was working when we met, i was only 18 at the time and we moved in together after only a short space of time, then 6 months later i fell pregnant.I can see what you are saying and i have said that to myself so many times that things will probably not change. Sorry in reply to the last msg, he is in bed im the one doing all the worring, i dont think he is depressed well not unless he has been for the last 11 years. Thanks guys for your reply.
I didn't sense anything about depression for some reason. I detect a lack of responsibility, and there was something in his upbringing that correlates to this one. He's let you do the worrying, alone.
I think you are upset, naturally, because you care about him, but you are (validly) sick of this lack of responsibility. He's not being responsible for you, his children, or for himself.
Now that you are apart and not going to be supporting him, a judge will make sure he has to do something in order to take care of his children-that's a legal obligation.
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