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E-Mail Hacking and Obsessing about the "EX"
I've been reading all the stories about other females obsessing about "The Ex" and I was relieved to see that I was not the only one....I was also relieved to see that I was not the only one who reads my bf's e-mail. I wonder if I started to do this (stalking his e-mail) because it was my gut telling me something was up?? Or my own insecurity??
I started to moniter his cell phone outgoing, incoming, and missed calls. I noticed that his ex was on there every so often. He made it known to me from the begining that they (his ex and him) were still friends and talked every once in awhile. But it bothered me cause he would never say "Oh yeah and I talked to "ex" today" He has always told me that they would not get back together it just would not work out they are to different of people. Anyway me being the "paranoid" girl that I am I managed to get the password for his e-mail to check it online.......not much to see really....but I did not stop there I know the password to ALL of his online stuff down to the music forums he USED to post in......I have yet to come across anything major really.
And to top it all of I'm afraid to tell my story here because if I found out all this stuff about him online he could do the same to me. Sick I know. I've been typing for awhile but I keep erasing because what if he saw this (and for the record I'm at work so there is no way he find it on this computer) and knew what I've done??
This year for Lent I gave up checking his e-mail and anything that requires me to use his password. It is wrong wrong wrong.....and if I did find something out what do I say "Oh yeah I hacked into your e-mail months ago and have been reading it and I found out you did such and such."
Again he has been upfront with me about contact with his ex but I KNOW he is not telling me everything anymore because of how I reacte when he says he talks to her or sees her. I FREAK out with insecurity. She is in a now long term relationship and we have been together for two years now. He says she would like to met me and he would like for me to meet her. He thinks maybe it would make me feel more at ease. I tell him no. The bottom line is that I can't stop comparing myself to her........and when he mentions her I go off on a rant about how she is prettier than me smarter then me etc.....
It has been better since the start of Lent I'm more fouced on our relationship than on checking his e-mail before he can get to it. And now that I've wrote all this out I realize how crazy I sound. And how crazy it would be to lose him because of my invasion of his privacy AND my insecurity.
That's my story.......thanks for listening.
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