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In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

 
 
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:07 PM   #1
Tkay
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Kissing unnatractive girl.

Oi! It's me again.

My question is: Is it anything close to smart or normal to flirt with a girl you don't really like?
There's this girl interested in me, but I think she's funny and stuff but not attractive. She often brings up subjects like kissing me, one night stands and stuff. I just know I could kiss her if i want to, and I really want to kiss a girl, but I just don't think she's attractive. Also a female friend said i shouldnt kiss her bcos i could do better etc.

What do you think. Should I kiss (or something else..) with her? I often dance very close with her at parties


thx.
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:11 PM   #2
jenny
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flirt. don't kiss.

don't feign interest; why would you want to?

do not do things that will not contribue to your own pleasure and might contribute to someone else's pain.
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:19 PM   #3
Tkay
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Quote:
Originally posted by jenny
flirt. don't kiss.

don't feign interest; why would you want to?

do not do things that will not contribue to your own pleasure and might contribute to someone else's pain.
I AM Flirting with her. And her "interest" is also just for fun (no pain involved).
I would like to kiss her but I think I will feel desperate or something.
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:37 PM   #4
longlegzs80
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Okay, I am going to be as blunt as I can be. You should not lead this girl on in thinking that you want to kiss her or that you like in if you don't find her attractive. Change things around abit where she did not find you so attractive and you found her really hot and wanted to kiss her.

Being lead on in thinking that someone is starting to like you when really they are not into you one bit sounds very immature and you should seriously let her know how you feel or don't give her signs that you are interested when really you find her to be nasty. Just my 2 cents.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 13th March 2004 at 9:14 AM.. Reason: Removed personal attack
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:41 PM   #5
Tkay
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Quote:
Originally posted by longlegzs80
Okay, I am going to be as blunt as I can be. Your an ass. You should not lead this girl on in thinking that you want to kiss her or that you like in if you don't find her attractive. Change things around abit where she did not find you so attractive and you found her really hot and wanted to kiss her.

Being lead on in thinking that someone is starting to like you when really they are not into you one bit sounds very immature and you should seriously let her know how you feel or don't give her signs that you are interested when really you find her to be nasty. Just my 2 cents.
Hmm, You're absolutely right I guess, but I just don't know what I want. Normally I wouldn't mess with a girl if she had feelings for me, but in this case, she just wants to have fun. I like dancing with her and stuff, and I know she doesn't mean it serious.. I think she's thinking the exact same thing as I am. Flirting never hurt anyone, did it?
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:44 PM   #6
jenny
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i think it's quite possible she truly likes you, and i think it's quite possible that you are getting ego-off on her desire.

cut it out. this is not flirting. if you kiss her, you are (in most young girls' minds) proclaiming that you want to have a relationship with her.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 13th March 2004 at 9:15 AM.. Reason: Removed reference to previous personal attack
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:46 PM   #7
Tkay
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Quote:
Originally posted by jenny
i love longlegz for saying that you are an ass. i think it's quite possible she truly likes you, and i think it's quite possible that you are getting ego-off on her desire.

cut it out. this is not flirting. if you kiss her, you are (im most young girls' minds) proclaiming that you want to have a relationship with her.
Ok, I think this needs some additional info.
She already has a relationship (this just made it worse didn't it)
She keeps giving hints she wants to kiss just for fun (saying it actually)
I already told her I don't have feelings for her and we're just flirting for fun.

Last edited by Tkay; 12th March 2004 at 10:50 PM..
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:47 PM   #8
longlegzs80
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I agree with you that flirting don't hurt, but you need to see what she wants from you as far as where she wants this to go. She might be head over heals for you and want the kissing and want more and want the relationship. So, I think the best way to approach this is if you come out and talk to her about what kinda feelings she has for you. Because if this keeps going on and you are not attracted to her and you get the kissing and the sex and whatever you want, she will be so heart broken when she finds out that you find her unattractive whether she hears it from one of her friends or your friends or whatever it maybe.

Just play it safe and don't lead her on. Be upfront, that is what a real man would do.
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:50 PM   #9
longlegzs80
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Well if she is in a relationship, why you messing with her emotions. Who cares if she wants a kiss or wants something more. If her boyfriend ever finds out, you are in it for a real ass kickin. Be prepared to run.

And I agree with Jenny. It is obvious you are in it for the ego thing. Stop that right now, because it will come back and kick you in the ass when you find a girl and you are so hot and heated with her, but she don't find you attractive and she is using this whole thing to give her ego a boost.

Think about it.
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Old 12th March 2004, 10:59 PM   #10
Tkay
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Quote:
Originally posted by longlegzs80

And I agree with Jenny. It is obvious you are in it for the ego thing. Stop that right now, because it will come back and kick you in the ass when you find a girl and you are so hot and heated with her, but she don't find you attractive and she is using this whole thing to give her ego a boost.
Its funny U tell this. 2 girls have done it in the past month with me. I'm getting kind of sick of it, so i felt like doing it myself.
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Old 12th March 2004, 11:02 PM   #11
longlegzs80
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I am not sure this chick is someone you want to be doing that with. But, if I were you and you want to be a man, don't play games and make your feelings be real to people you are interested in or not. Don't lead anyone on because as you know it sucks. So, dust it off with your past bad experiences and move on. And when you make decisions on who to flirt with or not, know that the other person has feelings too and would not want to be lead on in anyway.
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Old 13th March 2004, 12:35 AM   #12
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it's best to put yourself in someone else's shoes

why are you gonna string her along when you have no feelings for her??
it's almost like a female friend, i dont find her physically attractive, but im cool with her and like to chat and do things together...we can have fun w/o being a couple.

if your not interested in her, stop sending her signals. make a friend out of her...it's better than lying to her right? plus if you lead her on then she finds out u did it purposely, she WILL spread rumors about u to other chicks which will harm your future interactions with girls.

dont do it dude. For once put yoursel in her shoes. this is how a hot chick looks at you:
You like her, flirt w/her and wanna kiss her...but* she's not physically into you, but likes you as a person. How would you like it if she lead you on and played games and messed with your emotions?
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Old 13th March 2004, 7:49 AM   #13
Tkay
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I'm actually doubting if I have feelings for her. I really don't know

She just asked me to come with her to the cinema sometime... I said dunno maybe (in a tone that i dont care)
I hope she gets the message. Will tell her again sometime.
Bah :-/ this sux :-/ why arent any girls I like interested in me
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Old 13th March 2004, 9:18 AM   #14
Tony T
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It's simply wrong and serves no useful purpose to flirt or otherwise lead a lady on for whom you have no attraction and by your own admission in your post you do not like. Why would you want to waste your time?

I have to wonder about your state of sobriety if you are even considering kissing this girl. For what reason would you do that when there are so many ladies you may be attracted to elsewhere???
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Old 13th March 2004, 9:19 AM   #15
Tkay
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tony
It's simply wrong and serves no useful purpose to flirt or otherwise lead a lady on for whom you have no attraction and by your own admission in your post you do not like. Why would you want to waste your time?
I have absolutely no idea, I think just because I want to kiss a girl (I'm 18 and I've never kissed.)
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