[fueg0]

I got married at the age of 19. It was a complicated situation. My then fiance and I were in Asia, and he was planning to move back here (to the US). Everyone was against our engagement; my mother, mostly. My father wasn't too happy either, but we were able to convince him to allow it, along with his parents. I thought that it would work, and that everyone was wrong about our situation: we WOULD pull through.

3 days ago, I realized that they were right. I was too young, and I still have a lot of growing up to do. I was too busy trying to prove everyone wrong to realize that I DID have alot of growing up to do. I've been married to my husband for a little over a year now, and I only realized when we moved to the US that we have so little in common. We were too busy fighting everyone who didn't agree with us to realize it. What makes it worse is that I'm the only one who sees it that way. He is satisfied with where we are as a couple. I'm not. And little by little, I'm starting to fall out of love for the man I thought I married.

I don't want to drag it on and waste the rest of my youth living a life of a lie. I know I've tried to involve myself in the situation and look at the brighter side of things: we are financially stable, we have a house, we both work...but at the back of my head, I'm thinking...is that all there is to it?

I realized that I don't really know myself. I don't want to follow my mother's footsteps (I come from a broken family) and waste months/years being tied down to something I don't feel for. I think I need to step out and find out who I really am, what I really want, and where I should start. I can't do that while I'm 20 and tied to a marriage. I know I realized it too late, and now I want to take a few steps back...Get out of the marriage and think for myself, with no ties, before I do any more damage...

Any advice? I feel so lost.