Breaking the "No Contact Rule" and initiate the contact
It has been so hard for me to ignore my urge and not contacting my ex. She dropped me after a series of verbal fights and she has not picked up the phone to call me after I tried the method for a few days. It is sad to see the one who I invested a great amount of time and love on does not even care about my existence. I would like to move on with my life, but I have not erased her from my memory yet. If she does not call me. is it over?
A few days is nothing. You haven't gotten anywhere until you hit 30 days. Unless she comes begging to get you back, keep going with the no contact. This includes deleting any form of "Hi, how are you" message. When you hit 60 days I will bet you that you no longer have any real desire to contact her. In the meantime, find something else to do.
If she stopped having sex with you, then it is over and done with. I know some (most?) women on this board may disagree and call me a pig, but so be it. She doesn't love you if she won't "prove it".
In my experience some women will stop sleeping with you and still say they love you or care for you in order to justify the "I'm only sleeping with one guy at a time" thing even though they may be "on a break" with one guy and seeing (sleeping with) another. Did she by any chance give you the "we should see other people" line? What she really meant was "I have another guy lined up, but how about you hang around in case I don't like banging him".
You got that right. I stopped by several times last week and she was not there the whole night. She did not take my call either. She defnitely had sex with other guys. I would not trust her statement that she hanged out with her girlfriends to sooth the pain caused by me.
I wish I can get some feedbacks from women on this matter
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Posts: 2,735
ganderson: let me lay this on the line for you.
this is batty. your posts omit important information, they change information, but the sum overall is that this girl is an absurd waste of time, and you are increasingly odd for chasing her.
here is what i ask of you:
shore up your posts. if you must multi-post - let every post include the information that this woman would not have sex with you, used your money, and more or less treated you like dirt. decide whether or not you have actually broken up and are, or are not, having contact, because your posts are very frustrating for anyone who expects continuity out of any given story.
now, for your situation: this girl does not like you. you do not like this girl. in fact, you hate this girl. do not contact her, do not bother her, and stop thinking about her. if she is awful, it will come back to get her, don't worry. move on and find a new woman object to obsess over.
i am hardly ever so straight forward in posts, but this is crazy. i am starting to worry that you are stalking this girl and just need to talk about it at the end of the day. so, to be clear and not particpate in this any further: no contact means no contact. no means no. never call, talk to, email, or seek out this woman again. ever.
Last edited by jenny; 11th March 2004 at 3:16 AM..
I wish I can get some feedbacks from women on this matter
I used her to ventilate my resentment against her
a series of verbal fights
Here's a clue: most women will not want sex with someone who fights with them all the time
Leave her alone and stop being a jerk to women
__________________
I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
First, I must apologize for my mistake of not providing adequate informations on my posts.
Second, I also want to state that I was frustrated with her changing behavior. Our verabl abuse was derived from my constant frustration. I do still love her.
Finally, I would like to show my appreciation to everyone who supported me on this board. I do know my situation was pretty absurd.
We have gone out for about a year. For the past two weeks, we have not had sex or gone out , which were pretty unusual. We used to have sex on a daily basis. For the past two weeks. we constanly had arguments on trivial matters and we lost mutual respect of each other. Actually, I was angry that she failed to satisfy my needs. On the other hand, she demanded me to pay part of her rent and car payments even though we do not live together and I have my own car. She might spent her own money on another guy. I ignored her request because I assumed she must slept with other guys to take care of her sexual needs. It was impossible for her to change her sexual habit from getting laid on a daily basis to nonexistence. She told me that I must "prove myself" to her again and I did not deserve sex at the moment.
Even if i realize my mistake now, how can i show my apolgy to her in order to rescue the situation without breaking the "no contact rule"? she was the one proposed the rule and i do not want to beg her, although I know what I am missing now and that gives me an urge to break the rule.
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