[flsgirl]

I've been broken up with my ex since August. We've talked off and on since November. He moved across the country back home after we broke up. We tried to work things out and we just think it wasn't meant to be. This happened in February. This man broke my heart after being together for three happy years. I was really depressed after we broke up. I really love him and am really sad that we ended things. I told him not call me for awhile. It's been almost a month since we spoke.

While this was going on, I met someone else. He's not someone that I'll have a long term future with, but he's a nice a guy and is fun to be with. I do like this guy. He knows my situation and respects my wishes to not get involved in a committed relationship and he too just got out of a serious relationship. Neither of us could resist the temptation and we ended up sleeping together. It probably wasn't a good idea, but it happened.

I feel really guilty about it. I have absolutely no reason to, but I do. I keep thinking about the other guy constantly and am comparing the new guy to him. They are COMPLETELY different people. How do you move on? I've been broken up since August. I want these feelings for my ex to go away. I don't want to sabotosh a possible relationship.

[Miss_Prolixity]

Hello Flsgirl,

I am sorry you're hurting. Ending a three year long relationship isn't something you just put toss aside on the back burner. You still need time to heal.

Nothing is wrong with meeting a new man, but a lot of those people who tend to date fairly quickly after their break-up are usually on the rebound and most of the time those relationships don't last. Unless they start out as friends first. But in my personal opinion, developing friendships with males/females is a good way to start healing and develop other interests.

I know you weren't in a marriage and divorced, but being with someone that long you can still suffer the effects the same way. There's a book called "Rebuilding, When your relationship ends", by Bruce Fisher. I just finished it and it has really been a heaven sent. It discusses a lot about feelings and how to over-come and move on. I definitely recommend it to anyone who has had a heart break and dealing with loss.