I always knew that I was a little jealous in relationship but no one expect me could noticed that. I controlled myself perfectly, and everything went fine. Until now. It started 2 mos ago. I started dating with a man who is 20 years older, and very much in love...with me. But something went wrong...His married female friends (some of them were his exs) giving him hugs and kisses all the time they visiting us, and I just couldn't stand it. Although, they were with their men and husbands, they "in my view" behaved in a way as if my partner was theirs. Then, I started feel "humiliated" when, in my presence, he was watching other pretty women. Then I couldn't bear seeing him talking to any women...And, at the same time, I KNOW that I am the only woman in his life, and he loves me and wants to marry although we have known each other for only 4 mos! I just can't recognise myself anymore, I became a controlling and nrvious woman, a woman I would never wanted to be...Today I made him another "scene", and asked for a "time-out" in a relationship. I want to get back to myself, I want to be happy as I was before, and self-confident, kind and warm. How to do this? I heard "Zoloft" helps? Do you know how much and for how long I need to take it? Or maybe I should change an environment? Tonight, I'm going out for a drink with other male friend to aise my self-estim. But I am not sure I am on a right direction. It feels like an illness which I want but can't control. Please help, what to do?

[moimeme]

We have had a lot of posters suffering fro this problem. Some have seen therapists and gone on meds. This can be a form of OCD, actually. You are clearly distressed by your own behaviour; this is a good cue that you may need help to overcome it. Make an appointment with your doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist.

[Arabess]

After discussing the problem, whatever doctor you are seeing will probably advise you on the appropriate medication.

Sometimes, just getting away from the person who made you feel bad is enough. If he 'humiliated' you, as you wrote in your post, maybe HE'S the one in need of therapy....not you! LOL!

There are other posters on LS who have went thru various sorts of therapy. They may be able to advise you further.

Good Luck....and don't blame yourself for his inability to be sensitive.

Thank you for the reply. I am not thinking it is maybe that I am afaind of the committed relationship when I am emotionally attached to the partner and depends on him, and now he is talking of marriage. I feel I love him, but we need more time to think about. The other think that could be, that I don't like the state he lives, and he told me he'll never move to other (warmer place). It does bother me a lot since I am a new to the NorthWest and last winter I already had a depression. Sometimes, I feel that if something would push me to make him feel bad so that he would leave me and that would be over. I guess I would feel relieved. But he is so patient and understandable, and I always wonder why we're still together? I am sure I love him and I want to be with him, but I also think that it maybe my second depression that I get leaving in this place. Just don't know what to do...