Just found out I have herpes II, I am so sad and upset that someone somewhere has given it to me. I am currently in a long term relationship and we are not sure which one of us has given it to the other. WE are both very sad. Its my first episode and it has been so excruciating. apparently it not as painful the second time onwards. I am so sad. I wish more than anything to stay with my current partner forever but who knows in life, what if he isn’t 'forever' what if I need to inflict this problem onto a future partner!!! I have always been so careful and have definitely not been with many people. Why has this happened to me, and how can anyone think that you can live a completely normal life. I have already taken 2 days off work from pain and discomfort… I cant even explain this to my boss… its not like saying I have the flu… etc….
I am so sad… It feels like a life sentence! does anyone have any comments.
Need Help!
A close friend of mine has herpes (yes, it really is a friend and not me, haha!). She felt the same as you at first, she was devastated. I think what helped her come to terms with it was reading a lot about it. I was one of very few confidants, so I know, if only vicariously, what you must be going through. But really, this is NOT the death sentence people make it out to be. Your life will get back on track, and sooner or later it will just be a fact of life for you.
She has also told me over the years (she discovered her condition several years ago) that the men she has told about her condition (when starting a new romance) actually didn't care. They liked her for who she was, and they admired her honesty. They just had to be more careful. I spent many a long and teary-eyed evening talking about this with her. Now, it's like it almost never happened.
There IS hope. I think a lot of people who contract herpes, or really any STD, are more devastated by the stigma that they perceive will plague them, than by the actual disease itself. How many people have ever had a cold sore on their mouth? That is also the herpes virus. So, you have them on your coochie. big deal! I am not trying to trivialize what you must feel, but being a first-hand witness to my girlfriend's mental torture, it really saddens me that if she/you had some other non-STD chronic condition, you wouldn't be experiencing nearly the amount of angst over it.
Herpes facts - compliments of "Gail":
3/4 of adults have it (that's a hell of a lot of people)
90% DON'T KNOW they have it because it is often symptom-free
First I want to tell you, Herpes type 2 is one of the second most common STDs out there. Tons of people have it, and don't even know they have it (can be 'carriers').
There's a realllllly wonderful website with awesome message boards for support and info, that i highly recommend to you. Click on the following link. Then when you get to that page, on the LEFT SIDE, you'll see a bunch of links. Click on "Discussion Forums" and it will take you to all the related forums. You'll find tons of good support from other "gifted" folks..many in your boat, who are newly diagnosed.
Herpes is not as bad as you might think, really. There's a lot less negative stigma attached to it than in years gone by. Most who have it just consider it a bit of an inconvenience. And yes, your first outbreak is usually a lot worse than future ones. There's a really great book on Herpes...the folks on that site should be able to tell you the name of it, if you ask..something you'll want to get...and maybe you and your partner can read it together.
Is your boyfriend going to be tested too? A bloodtest can be done, if no actual lesions/ulcers are present. The folks on the site can give you all the specific info. There's other great links with info there, on that main site.
Did your Doctor mention to you about Suppression therapy? There's great medications out there now, that can help decrease the number of outbreaks and the severity of them (Valtrex, etc). The folks on that site should be able to advise you here, too.
That stat I believe includes both oral and genital herpes. Genital alone I'm sure is less. If the grand total is less than 3/4, however, I'll stand corrected.
Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, at least 45 million people ages 12 and older, or one out of five adolescents and adults, have had genital HSV infection. Between the late 1970s and the early 1990s, the number of Americans with genital herpes infection increased 30 percent.
HSV-2 infection is more common in women (approximately one out of four women) than in men (almost one out of five). This may be due to male-to-female transmissions being more efficient than female-to-male transmission.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
You should only believe stuff you hear when it comes from people who know what they're talking about.
__________________
I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
As I said, my stat includes both oral and genital. Herpes.org cites 80-90% for oral herpes. Genital is in the 25% range. don't know how credible that site is, however. Maybe y'all will know?
I contracted herpes almost ten years ago--I felt so horrible and confused, I could not understand how I could have ever gotten it. I was in college at the time and the doctor who diagnosed me was not very sensitive and when some of my friends found out, they thought I was a leper. Well, now ten years later, none of those people are my friends and thank god I don't have to go to the infirmary anymore!!! I contracted it from the second guy I ever slept with. Like everyone has said, so many people have it and now with the medication Valtrex it is much easier to treat. It is a pain (in more ways than one) if you do not have health insurance, the price of this medication is so expensive and generic has yet to come out. Lysein (I am unsure of spelling, you can get this stuff at the health food store) is suppose to help with outbreaks.
As one person pointed out, the more information you learn about this condition, the better and more empowered you will feel. You will slowly realize that this is definitely not the end of your world, but based on personal experience, you will feel pretty bad for awhile and then, if you are like me, you will get sick of giving yourself such a hard time, baby yourself, and think positive!!! If I am not incorrect, herpes is a virus, and the virus never goes away--in its dormancy, it hangs out at the base of your spine (for a more scientific explanation, check out books or the internet, sorry!) You will have it for the rest of your life, but it is a condition that you have to manage--lots of times an outbreak is triggered by stress--period approaching? you might get an outbreak....stress in your life? tests? boyfriend/friend/family trouble? Take care, and do some yoga, deep breath, because stress can cause an outbreak? Skip wearing panties when you hit the sack...most guys like that anyway LOL sometimes rough sex can stress out that delicate little area,especially if you have been without it for awhile. Most importantly, always keep a bottle of Valtrex around with you in case you have an outbreak, the quicker you treat it, the better. Women who have it often feel an oncoming outbreak when they feel sore or feel like they have been punched down there..hard to explain, but in time you will know the symptoms, and over time you will probably get fewer outbreaks. Your body builds up a kind of tolerance for what is happening. I apologize for not being able to express myself more clearly, but i just want you to know that you will be fine, you can go on and have a healthy sex life and have babies, but you have to take precautions.
http://www.racoon.com/herpes (or scroll up to find it). Like I said, it's got all the help you'll need. Tons of other people in your boat (newly diagnosed with many questions/concerns).....and lots who've lived with this for many years and can offer their wisdom. No sense asking for experiences here, you might get a couple..but there, everyone on those forums has it.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Just relax...it is not a disaster..believe me
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