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How will i cope?

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Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 22nd February 2004, 9:30 AM   #1
_Ant_
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Unhappy How will i cope?

Hello,

Im new to this place (this is my first post actually), but i really need some help and advice. Im 17 and single, and the past few weeks i've been getting closer and closer with my friend’s wife (please don't shoot me!). She's 24 and the most beautiful, sexy, amazing, funny person i've ever met!

We've spent a lot of time talking via e-mail, MSN messenger and recently on the phone. We got really close with each other, we were really expressing our true feelings. I feel like i've known her forever, even thought its been just 2 weeks.

This was until last night, when i asked her the question, 'do you think anything could ever come of us?'. After a long chat, she started to get upset, blaming herself for getting married in the first place, saying it was all her fault She then had to go (her husband was home) and left me at a bit of a cliff-hanger. I could hardly sleep last night, spending most of the night awake thinking about her

Then, this morning i received a text message from her, saying she wanted to talk. We spent almost 2 hours on the phone talking about 'us', and the whole situation with her husband etc. I left it to her to make the decision on what we should do. However much i don't like it, she decided we should both go our separate ways, as not to damage her marriage or my friendship with her husband.

Im absolutely heart broken, this is my first experience of love (im embarrassed to admit) and i feel like my heart has been ripped out, and put on a plate in front of me! I have a huge urge to e-mail or phone her, but i don't want to make it any worse for either of us...

Has anyone had an experience like this before? Does it get better? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Any advice would be great, i feel so low i want to curl up and die

Thanks in advance.
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Old 22nd February 2004, 10:41 AM   #2
Vivid_29
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Mr. Ant

You're gonna be alright, dude. I was in the same situation as you, 11 years, ago, when I was 19. I was involved with a 29 year old, married woman, who used to use me as her 'boytoy'. She was constantly in and out of my life and it drove me nuts. I couldn't stand that s**t, but you know what? After 2 1/2 years, 3 weeks before I left Hawaii, I won her over. She was gonna leave her hubby (or so she says), to be with me, but it was too late. I was already leaving and wasn't into long distance relationships.

You know, I often wonder what or if anything could have become of us, but I'm glad that things turned out the way they did. If I had the opportunity to go down a different path, I probably wouldn't have met the people in my life, today.

People will come in and out of our lives and it's comforting to know that we will always have a special place for them in our hearts. You are still young, with your whole life ahead of you! Christ! A 17 year old boy, putting the charms on a 24 year old woman. You got it goin' on. You remind me of myself, young stud!

Hang in there, buddy! Keep charming the lovely ladies and they will come to you!

~Vivid_29
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Old 22nd February 2004, 1:23 PM   #3
moimeme
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Here's a piece of advice: stay away from married women. Married people will not often leave their marriages, so you set yourself up for heartbreak right off the bat.

You will get over it - it was only a two-week thing, after all. You can't fall in love in that short a period. You fell into lust and infatuation and it will pass. It's happened to all of us.
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Old 22nd February 2004, 1:48 PM   #4
eagle_nate
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you'll be OK

Hey buddy,
I've been there...she wasn't married but she was hot!
My buddies girlfriend...man, I was 17 so my controls were limited. i ended up sleeping with her and I told my buddy after. Pretty screwed up but it all worked out.
About the pain...understand this...there is no pain like what you and I are feeling right now (I just lost g/f of 3 yrs...see coping)...but it fades fast man, honestly. In good time, you'll be laughing about it. I've been thru this a few times, it's the risk you take falling for a woman.
Talk, talk, talk, it's truly the only remedy.
\Nate
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Old 22nd February 2004, 2:25 PM   #5
wow
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It will be all good in 3 weeks time I think.

To me this is a funny story and in sometime you will see how funny it is as well.

Good Luck
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Old 22nd February 2004, 3:00 PM   #6
_Ant_
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Thanks for the replies. We both thought it was just lust at first, but when it was really hurting being away from each other (not talking etc), we agreed it must be more, i really believe it is/was love.

I suppose it’s hard to see now but i doubt i'll laugh at the story, i've almost been in tears all day today
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