Just wondering are there any men out there that hate the thought of marriage and having children, or am I the only one that has fallen in love with a man who wants it to be "only the two of us".

I have been living commonlaw with him for the last 5 years and he has no intention of ever getting married or having kids, and we never ever talked about it while we were dating. I guess I just assumed that is what people do, altho with me it is never going to happen.

I know he has an illness that pretty much wears him out, and there is the chance that he is impotent from his diabetes, but he has never ever said anything about having a family of our own.

And I was just wondering if there is anyone else in that boat. Like there are times when I just wish that things were different. I guess all women want to experience having children, and I am gettting to the point where I will be too old to have them.

People have told me to move on and find someone who wants kids, but when I was dating I only found men who had 2 or more of their own and did not want anymore, and when I met my b/f and he had none, I guess I just assumed that he too would want children.

I know that we have had problems in the past, mostly due to his illness but we are working past them, my bf says that my life is pretty much complicated working at times two jobs to make up for him being on disability, and that he would not be much help if we did have kids, he is just too physically exhausted.

I just vision growing old and having no one to come and visit, I am wierd to be thinking like that so far down the road. I am 35 and the b/f is 40

Your thoughts please!!!!!!

[ILoveToToot]

honestly, if he doesnt want it all and you do, theres not much you can do but leave and find someone who does and fits your needs. you cant make anyone do anything they want to, and if ya did, hed resent you and the kids and your marriage because of it....

[Arabess]

I totally understand. I have a teenager and a preteen.....I wish I would've had his INSIGHT! Forget the family visits.....chances are you'll be the only two sane people left standing in your 80's. LMAO!

I do realize having children seems to validate a woman. It totally natural for a female to really want children in her life to nurture. Whether you want it bad enough to leave your relationship for it....would have to be a personal judgement call.

I would like to say you can have a full plate of life without children in it. That's easy for me to say though since I have children.

[moimeme]

I just vision growing old and having no one to come and visit

If that's your major reason for wanting kids, it's bogus. Ask the senior citizens sitting alone in homes seeing their kids maybe once a year.

If you want people to visit in your old age, make lots of friends or go help young people as part of an association that does so. You really need to understand your motivations for wanting children and decide whether they are valid or whether your man is worth giving up that aim for. I have two friends who did want children, but for various reasons missed opportunities to do so and who have now chosen to be with the great men they found rather than continue the wish of having kids. Both of them spend time with relatives' kids and friends' kids. This may or may not work for you.