[eldslover]

I dont know what to do....this is so confusing. Lemme start ya off......this was my first 'real' girlfriend, my first love. The first person i ever loved the way i do.

Me and this girl were friends through high school, just friends. Graduated, was my date to the prom and then we went to college, the same college and we was just friends, nothing more. Halfway through the year in college i was at her house chillin watchin tv when she told me she liked me, and wanted me as more than a friend. I liked her too but not to the point where I would want her as a girlfriend. She was my friend i didnt ever expect this from her. So i guess i just gave her a chance, and we started going out. She always insisted that i never change, never wanting to loose the friendship we always had. I didnt think that would be so hard, i mean i wanted the same thing.

For months we spent every possible moment together, not a day went by that we didnt see each other or talk to each other and we both loved each other. Our one year anniversary came by and things werent the same by that time...starting from about a week before the day. She didnt want to spend much time with me as before, and things just became different, she barely showed interest. I asked her if everything was alright, she told me that seeing each other everyday wasnt healthy blah blah, what i got out of it was that she needed room. One day i stumbled into her email and found one of those e-cards, a romantic one to someone who we went to high school with. I know the person but cannot say he is my friend, but they are i guess friends. So watever i asked also if there was someone else because the way she just wasnt the same even with me, and she said no, that there was not anyone else. I believed her.

The days went by and things got worse, she wouldnt have time for me or to even talk to me. So finally she told me that it must end. We cant be together any longer. I asked her why what happened. I didnt understand. She told me she didnt want to hurt me and that we just cant be together anymore. I just let it go. This was yesterday. Today, out of curiosity i looked at her emails and behold, letters to this new person who she now wants to be with. She left me for someone else. She wont admit it, and wants me to still be her friend. I dont know what to do. I still feel for her very much when she told me it couldnt go on. But what the **** is this? What am i to do? In not afraid of letting it go but i dont know what to do. From what i can tell this all started about a week before our anniversary in january and decided now to end out relationship....

[Arabess]

My friend, I'm not sure you have any choice in the matter. You are going to have to walk away and let it go.

She was probably trying to spare your feelings.

She said she wanted out and afterward, you found out there is someone else in her life. There isn't anything for you to wait on. MAYBE somewhere down the road your paths will cross again. Between now and then though....you need to take some time to get your heart back together and then begin going out with friends....looking around.....checking out some new females.

You'll feel down in the dumps for awhile....and betrayed. That's totally normal. In time though....you'll get past it and find someone who you will love not in the same way.....but in a better and new way.

I'm sorry.

[prettyconfused]

I so agree with Arabess, so much so that I love her. Haha only playin but she always seems to make sense and ok shes great. If I ever get advice off her, i'd take it!!

[eldslover]

thanks for your responses.
ill take the advice of taking her advice..haha

when i wrote the thing she didnt know i had found out.. she still wanted to be my friend so it wasnt like she didnt talk to me.....she called me before she had to go to work, and stopped by my apartment, parked in the street, i sat in the car with her and straight up told her. I was like there is something going on with Joe Schmoe isnt there? You left me for him. Thats why you did it. She couldnt say nothing she just stared at me with watery eyes. So i just stared at her and left, went back home and she drove away. Not 5 minutes later she came back and told me to come outside. I again sat in her car, she says to me she doesnt know whats going on, she is confused, and doesnt know what the heck shes doing. She says she changed, this Joe Schmoe changed and that she i guess sees more in him. I was like you know exactly what your doing!, You left me for him...i couldnt believe what she was telling me. She kept repeating she didnt want me to walk out of her life, but what other choice do i have right? She kept saying..the she doesnt know whats goin on, doesnt know what shes feeling. She pretty much wants me to like wait and see whats going to happen. Im really f'ing confused. I dont want to loose this person, she became the most important person in my life but it seems to me she has left me with no other choice......

[dario]

'She pretty much wants me to like wait and see whats going to happen. '

Take care...that's all I can say..I'm sorry, but take care.

[eldslover]

its a been a couple monthes since ive been here. since i last wrote, things ended up not working out with this person after like a week. she told me this after a while, it just sorta came up. but since then we have, well i have tried just being a friend. its difficult because even after what has happened, i stilll feel the same for her, i still love her, and care for her the way i always did while as i was with her. a couple of weeks ago we were alone and we just did it u know? it was awkward but we didnt really think anything of it, didnt really talk about it, continued as if nothing happened. i feel it only made things a little worse because it just makes me want to be with her more often and stuff, but i know it wouldnt be the same and thats not what i want. i dunno. thanks all for responding.