I found out today that my ex-girlfriend is engaged. We were together on and off for 2 years. She started seeing this guy while we were together and then completely left me for him. That was 4 months ago. She had cheated before, two other times within the 2 years. I kept taking her back. Even in her new relationship - I kept expecting her to come back. But now I know this is it.
The hardest thing out of all this is we work together. We sit right by each other. Due to that I’ve chosen to be friends at least at work. But lately I’ve been feeling bad because her relationship had been progressing and it didn’t look like she would come back. So last week I decided to not talk to her at work (which is the only place we interact). I told her I needed this – I needed space because I needed to heal. That worked for me. She seemed to comply. This weekend she called me like 7x’s which was unusual because she never calls. I ignored it because I was out clubbing and having fun not being concerned with her. Today at work I asked her why she called. She blew it off and then blew me off and we started arguing a little and then she says, “Do you realize that I am engaged?”
Man – I just feel really bad, and I’m not sure why. I know that she isn’t right for me. I got cheated on a lot. I know that she is happy with this guy. I just thought maybe their thing would fall apart and she’d come back. But now, I don’t have that false hope any longer.
Does anyone work with an ex? Or heard about them getting engaged? I just feel really lost right now.
Yes - I work with my ex and I caught her cheating on me and I would never accept her back! Why did you???
She called you seven times and then asks you, 'Do you realize that I'm engaged?' What's up with that? What am I missing here? Did she say that cause you were arguing with her? I could understand her saying that, if you were calling her all weekend.
Well last week I got tired of being a friend and wanted space from her to heal. So starting last Monday I told her this and did no contact with her (even though we only interact at work). She complied and we didn't talk which was good for me.
But this weekend, she rang my cell 7x's and left me 3 voicemails saying she wanted to talk. I didn't respond. I wanted to enjoy my weekend - and it was Valentines Day and I didn't want to hear about her and her new man's fun time.
Monday I asked her why she called. She gave some lame reason, I didn't believe her, we argued a bit and then she gets real exasperated and says, "Do you realize that I am engaged?"
Uh like no! How would I know that? I just couldn't believe that and I'm still in shock.
As to why I kept taking her back - I must be an idiot. It's just that - we work together and we'd always end up talking. Just this time it's completely different. She's totally committed to this guy. And now she's engaged.
Well, maybe next time in the future, you'll be a little more wise when it comes to accepting one back, when they cheated! Does her being engaged bother you?
Originally posted by dario
You know what you should do (if it's possible and if you can find better)....put in your resignation and get another job and get the hell out.
I wouldn't recommend this (no offense Dario). Hold your head up and stand your ground. F**k her! Don't let her run you off!
Vivid - yeah her being engaged really bothers me. I guess for some sick reason I kept thinking she'll get tired of this guy and come back. I know that is really sick cos she doesn't value me enough to not cheat on me. I just spent so much time 2 years taking care of her - and now this 4 month person has everthing she needs apparently. I'm just so tired of it all. I really wish I didn't talk to her Monday, ignorance is bliss.
I kind of figured that the engagement bothered you. It's alright dude, but just don't let her know that.
You know, my ex has the b@lls to bring her little crackhead boyfriend to our office. I think she does it to spite me. You know what? It doesn't even phase me!
In time, her presence shouldn't phase you anymore. You'll get past this.
Meet some new ladies. There are plenty of them out there!
just to let u know that she obviously isn't really that happy if she has to call u 7x's to let u know how happy she is. not to mention she started an argument with u for no reason and then suddenly announces she is engaged. she is fronting. she is pretending she ishappy to phase u (get a reaction out of u). she says that the relationship u and her had was terrible, yet she still has to contact u all the time. when someone gets so angry with a person for no reason, it's shows that they r not over u. maybe she is angry that she isn't over u. maybe she wants to make u jealous. either way, she's bad news. let her go. she is messing with your head. whether u leave your job or not, this girl has got to go. she doesn't value u and u deserve a woman who can show u the world! good luck.
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Last edited by silk_sword; 17th February 2004 at 2:13 AM..
Yeah I am out again meeting people, which is a little rough cos I am 2 years out of the game. But I am trying.
When she left me, first I was angry with her, then I tried being friends (I guess in the false hope she'd come back). But I realized I couldn't handle the friends thing especially after hearing "engaged". So it's back to "no-contact". Which sucks cos I feel like she's an "ally" at work - but she really makes me feel bad. So no "ally".
I define friends as being able to share, without limits. But there's limits to this so-called friendship - so I really get nothing out of our (only work) friendship. Just superficial conversation.
And I really can't handle hearing more details about her life - look what happened to me today. So - she's there, I can't talk to her for my sake, I get to hear her talk lovey dovey with her "fiance" - man I just got to get out.
I did ask her why she called 7x's and she wouldn't really say.
I've been a good friend to her - after the breakup (altho probably for my own reasons). I didn't like her rubbing her "engagement" in my face. Man - she knew that would hurt.
And she got a reaction out of me - that was bad. I just got to stay away.
I've been so blinded by her - that yeah there are way better girls out there.
Your ex sounds very selfish and narcissistic. Don't you notice that when you pull away from her, she then tries to contact you, or pester you at work? When you attempt to be friends with her, it seems like she's deliberately rude or antagonizing. As far as the work situation, steer clear of her as much as you can. You don't have to be her friend.
Be glad you're not her fiancee. Do you want to marry a manipulative person who cheats and gets engaged to someone after only 4 months? Doesn't sound very fun. Good luck.
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