[wlw2k3]

Okay, maybe I'm just typing this all out to organize my thoughts, but anyways
I'd like to hear feedback as well. I've been going out with this girl for 8 months
and it has been the most fantastic thing ever to happen to me. We love each
other completely (sometimes I think we're 'that' couple whose public displays
of affection make single folks cringe and curse, and it's by far the deepest
relationship I've ever experienced.

Life is great, right? Except for my stupid jealously.

Little history here, my romantic life has been pretty simple, I dated
some in college, would up with a girl I stayed with for almost five years. We
moved in together, planned lives together...until she cheated on me. End of
the line for that. Soon after I met my current amazing gf.

As for her, she's had a couple of long term relationships (none nearly as long as mine, by the way, we're both in our mid-twenties) and some one night stand type-things
along the way. To be honest, none of these really bother me. What does bother
me is that she often slept with a former boss (who was married and with a child
on the way) and then later at another job with a co-worker (who had a girlfriend). At first she denied doing either, but then admitted to both when I told her I knew the truth. She told me she did the boss because she was afraid of losing her job and was lonely at the time. The co-worker she said was simply a 'being lonely' thing (what bugs
me about him are the two of them are still friends...although he is now engaged to
that gf of his). I suppose what gets to me about these is a) she initially lied to me
about them, and b) I think she really liked the boss, and enjoyed that relationship.

I know it's stupid, I know it's probably more a reflection of some of my personal
insecurities, but I can't get these two out of my head. I can't believe my girl
would enable someone to cheat so readily and repeatedly. It's horrible but it
almost feels like I can't trust in her our relationship (I know, I know, I've been burned before, I hope I'm just oversensitive to it). I know a lot of you will
point the finger at me, singling out my insecurities...and that would probably
be accurate.

I know just as well as anyone that the past is the past (hell,
my gf's had to put up with that ltr ex of mine, so why should I have troubles,
right?) and that we should focus on what we have now and in the future. But
it's just hard as hell to keep these thoughts out of my head, and I just wonder why
she lied to me, was she trying to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear? Or
is it something else. Can I trust her (even though technically she never cheated
on anyone...)?

I think I know the answers. Yes, I can trust her. I have in faith in us and what
my senses tell me everyday we're together. I should the leave the past alone and
just be lucky I have such an incredible girl who loves me.

Thanks for reading this, leave feedback if you wish, I'd appreciate it. However,
I think this was good just to express in words, not just dark, fleeting images
in my brain.

[Thinkalot]

Yes, you do know the answers already, but knowing the answers and putting them into practice are two different things aren't they? I know. I've been there. Remember, we all grow and change and have our own paths to walk. Your girl perhaps appreciates you even more, having come through some lonely times.

If your jealous thoughts get stuck, this post of mine may help you with some activities and methods you can use. Read through it.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t31412/15-2

Good luck! Let go of the past. Really dedicate yourself to living in the present. The results will be worth it. You cannot control the past, or change it. Decide if this woman is worth being with. If you truly love her, then let her past go.

[Benedict]

Date her for a nice, long, safe period of time, my friend.

Sometimes jealousy is nothing but just that. Sometimes it is a little voice that is warning us. I've been there. 8 months is a decent amount of time. Go longer... way longer.

[jakal]

If it bothers you that much i would suggest talking to her about it. i know how you feel. im the jealous type myself. i try my best not to show it. but sometimes you just have to let those feelings out. talk to her about it. tell her how you feel, and why you feel that way. ive done that with my current GF. and it help a lot. ive had a previous GF where i just let it fester in me, until it started pushing her away from me. and she really did end up cheating on me. no sex but i kiss. which is almost as bad. but i say talk to her about it. you may feel a lot better if you do.

[Angel]

Let me get this straight. You are dating a girl that slept with her married boss and a co-worker that had a significant other. And you are not sure why you feel jealous----????? You are not feeling jealouse you are feeling "uneasy" because you are not sure she'll do this again, but this time to you. When it is a matter of "character" you cannot expect change my dear. (Not that it can't happen, just don't bet your unborn children's lives on it!)

Hope this helps. Good luck.