I've been with my bf for 3 years and 2 months, i met him when i was 17 and im now 20, he was 16 and now 19..
anyways we were eachother first (lost our virginity together) and i was his first gf, he was my 2nd bf but my first serious bf!!
ANyways we have had lots and lots of good times but also bad times like every normal couple which means we even broke up for a month 1/2 but got back..
anyways i love him SO much yet i feel that one day we are gonna have to let go just because of his and my lack of experience with people, he needs to see what its like to date another girl right?...its really scary to think about this because soemtiimes i really think about being with him always....has anyone gone through something similar???if so what happened?
I know how you feel, and others may disagree with me, but I don't think that past experience is neccessary for a healthy relationship. Although some may say that the obsession of 'What else is out there?' could be overwhelming, take a look around the site and see how many people have obsessed over 'What came before me?'
If you have doubts, it's best to work through them before making a lifetime or even long-term commitment. There's no blanket statement that covers all situations, every pair is different in the way they think and percieve conflict and resolution in a relatinoship. But it's stupid to break up with someone just to experience more people, you're giving a good thing up for no reason.
Personally, I've worked through the illusion that there's someone else out there for me--at least while things are functioning healthy now. If you can too, these thoughts should migrate out of your head after a natural dormancy in the back of your mind. If you keep doubting things, however, it could be a sign of some other issues in you relationship. Have you talked to him about it?
thanxz dyermaker, well i havent really talked to him about it but i think he knows how i feel because i always tell him stuff like "just always know that i will always love u no matter what or who" and he tells me the same thing....what worries me is just that i feel that men in order to fully commit they have to had lots of girls that way once they do commit they dont have to be curious anymore, partly why we broke up that month 1/2 was due to the fact that he didnt wanna be committed to me and he was curious what it was to be with someone else...i sometimes may be curious too but its not a biggy cos i know that who i trully wanna be is with him, cos sometimes i think that even if i met someone else i wouldnt feel the way i feel about my bf...i just think sometimes about our age and lack of experience and it scares me because I DONT want to lose him, i really always wanna be with him because i feel so safe and so good in his arms, and i dont think i can feel that way with anyone else...its really odd..i guess i just gotta enjoy what i have now....so far it has been 3 years and 2 months and hopefully it just grows more and more but the more it grows the more scarier it might become...i just know i do love my bf alot and i wouldnt wanna see him nor me with someone else but sometimes u gotta let go in order to see if ure meant to be...am i wrong?
Originally posted by calithin83
i wouldnt wanna see him nor me with someone else but sometimes u gotta let go in order to see if ure meant to be...am i wrong?
I've heard it said, so possibly there is some truth to it--I personally think it's a load of crap. I'm with a healthy girl who doesn't think she needs to let me go to see if she wants me, and I feel the same way about her. As I said though, everyone's different. The hardest part about leaving yourself emotionally vulnerable is the assurance that your partner is equally vulnerable, and ergo equally invested. Such curiousity isn't conducive to an emotional investment--and while it's normal, I'm sure, it's not a paticularly beneficial thing.
The whole "experience" thing is bs, if you ask me. Having sex with a variety of people won't qualify you as the world's greatest lover. Having had a lot of relationships doesn't neccesarily influence someone to be a better person.
The best experiences, sexually and relationship wise, are to be had with a person you respect and have affection for, not someone you consider a notch or a tally on a scorecard. If you are content with one person, you have no reason to feel obligated to seek others out. If you are bored with someone, and are interested in seeing other people, it's only fair to end the relationship.
If someone wants to be single to see what else is out there, perhaps they do want to test their feelings and see if things are really meant to be or they aren't, but personally, I just don't think that should be necessary. I think you should KNOW without having to break up, without having to hurt feelings, which WILL happen.
I would say chances are that if someone wants to see what's out there and feel the chase of a new person again, it's pretty much a sign that says, "I want out. Don't want to be with you anymore. Sorry." It's just not something you'll realize immediately. If someone wants to get out and have sex with other people just for the sake of having sex with other people, is that someone you'd really want to be with? For me, the answer is hell no. If someone passes up the chance to grow old with you, someone who you love and loves you back, someone who lets go of happiness and greatness to try to go out and get with other people...then screw them. You/we deserve better than that.
Hindsight is indeed 20/20 but there are ALWAYS signs along the way that could clue you in to what's really going on and what's going to happen.
Dyermaker
I've heard it said, so possibly there is some truth to it--I personally think it's a load of crap.
I agree. Letting go of a person like that will allow one’s imagination to take over. It will exaggerate that person’s best qualities, and it will linger in one’s mind. It is nothing more than a fantasy.
Quote:
morrigan
The whole "experience" thing is bs, if you ask me. Having sex with a variety of people won't qualify you as the world's greatest lover.
Some people believe a person’s value is tied to his or her demand. Supposedly, a person who has had many sexual partners is in higher demand than a person who has had fewer.
Maybe this is all related to a person’s scarcity. There is a smaller window of opportunity for people who are always in relationships, or have busy schedules.
hi
i believe i have met my soul mate but because my family caused alot of problems we split up , we still run a website together but we havent spoke about us at all ,but i know ive got to let him go ,but you have to let go sooner rather then later as it will continue to hurt you, yes if he asked me to go back ,i think i would jump at the chance but to be honest i dont think it would last because of the problems before but hoefully we will continue to be mates and thats the way it should be . just my opinion
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