I have a small problem that I'm looking for advice on. My very tolerable boyfriend recently met an old friend of mine that just moved back to the city. She's definitely a loose canon and can be pretty hard to take. Needless to say, he didn't get the best first impression and would rather not spend time with her in the future.
Of course, she's totally oblivious and thinks he's great. Now, I don't want to tell her that he won't be around much because she can be intolerable. No one wants to hear that. I also want to avoid leaving one or the other out when my friends want to go out to have a good time. I can see the scenario...he and I make plans to meet up with friends to go out, she calls to see if we want to get together...how do I not invite her? It seems so mean. How do I invite her...he really doesn't like her and for quite justifiable reasons. I'm very tolerant of most people.
She and I have been friends since I was 11, however, and shutting her out of my life (no matter how toxic she may be sometimes) is just not an option. This is the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Anyone have any suggestions?
Last edited by peaches1234; 12th February 2004 at 12:41 PM..
Maybe you and yours could compromise. Let him know your history with your friend and make sure he knows that you see his point too. Hopefully he'll just accept that she's a good friend of yours if he knows that you understand his point totally.
Can't you just keep them apart, or buffer them somewhat? Like with extra people, extra space, extra loud music, or whatever is needed? And maybe she should not be included in every gathering. Does she have other friends of her own?
I strongly recommend that you keep her friendship, but just find a way to work it so your bf doesn't have her in his face every night. You could have "Girls Night Out", for instance. And maybe you'll get lucky - she could find a new man that she'll get totally wrapped up in.
"Make new friends, but keep the old." No matter how irritating. I'm sure your guy will understand that you don't dump a friend.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
When you have your friend with, have a lot of other people with as well, that way, it won't seem like you bf is trying to avoid her like the plague. On the other hand, you are not obligated to invite her to every social gathering that you have (I doubt you would want all of your bf's friends around all the tine either.) Do "girls night out" stuff with her, if possible. He should just make an effort of accepting her socially.
Thanks guys. When the situation comes up I'll be sure to try to have a big group of people come along so that we can all have a good time together. Perhaps she'll busy herself getting to know them rather than than harassing my boyfriend? Here's hoping!
Your case is kind of like mine, I don't get along very well with my bf's old friend. He doesn't like me making fun of him (when everybody can), he thinks i have problems all the time, he got tired talking to me.... I don't understand why. I don't understand why he keeps attacking him when i am trying to get along better with him. Your post reminds me about my situation. Anybody can help us??
One day when you are an old lady die-N in your bed you will look back to this day , The day you let your true life's sole mate fade away for this wild and crazy party girl ! One day the party will be over , what will be left for you but a bunch of shameful memories and empty beer cans !
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Boyfriend hates an old friend of mine
Linear Mode
