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Help!!! My boyfriend's children think I'm too young!!!

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Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

Old 10th February 2004, 11:28 PM   #1
axidnt2
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Question Help!!! My boyfriend's children think I'm too young!!!

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I have a problem, and thought maybe someone could help me. I have been dating an older man, and love him very much. I am 25, and with out disclosing his real age, let me just say that he is about twice my age. As I said, I love this man very much, and want to be with him for the rest of my life. I just recently asked him to marry me, and he just told his children yesterday. One of them happens to be older than I am. He was telling me that he is now having big problems with his dhildren in the fact that they think I am way too young for him. I wrote him this letter and sent it to him hoping that he would let his kids read it.



"Could you please do me a favor? Could you please let your children know how much i really truly love you, and how much age doesn't make a difference to me. Please tell them that I have never felt this way about anyone before, and I never will. Please tell them that I will always and forever love you no matter what. Please Tell them how much fun we have together. Please tell them how much I never want to lose you. Please tell them that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and that I wouldn't trade you for anything. I want you in my life forever. Please help them to understand that I fell in love with you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please let them know that I have already been through a lot in my life, and am ready to finally be with my one true love. Please tell them how much I care about you, and how much you are the only one that I want to be with. Let them know how much we enjoy being around each other, and how much we miss each other when we're apart. Please ask them not to be mad at either one of us. Please tell them that all i want is to be with you for the rest of my life, that I don't want or desire anyone else. Please ask them to take into consideration the way you feel about me, and the way I feel about you. Tell them the story of how we met, and the first mishap we had when we were supposed to meet at Wal-Mart. When we just missed each other, but how we must have been destined to meet, because we met anyway. How it must have been meant for me to fall in love with you, or i wouldn't have, How much I truly do care about you. Could you do that for me? Thank you Honey. Please let me know what they say. I will always love you Sweetheart, no matter what."


Was that the right thing to do? What else can I do to make them see that I love their father and want to spend the rest of my life with him.? Someone, please help me.
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Old 10th February 2004, 11:35 PM   #2
SoleMate
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Wow, I've heard of parents bossing their kids around, but this is an interesting twist.

If your intended has adult children, he should be old enough to decide for himself. And it really is his decision. My self respect would not allow me to write a letter begging for approval like this. And a real man would have told you to keep the letter, because you don't need to convince his kids of anything.

And something about your letter just doesn't ring true. Why are you so insistent on marrying him against his doubts?
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Old 10th February 2004, 11:39 PM   #3
axidnt2
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I am not so persistent on marrying him against his doubts, he doesn't have doubts necessarilly. I just don't want his children to hate him because of me. That is a decision I made, not one that he made. And I am not begging for approval, just want his children to know how i really feel about him. Maybe then they would understand that age makes no difference.
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Old 11th February 2004, 9:50 AM   #4
clia
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I don't know if there's much you can do. I know I would not be thrilled if my dad married a woman who was younger than me.
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Old 11th February 2004, 5:47 PM   #5
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I agree....age should NOT make a difference! I think he should be a man and stand up to his own kids. Either they will accept you in time (good possibility) or they won't. Either way....it shouldn't hinder the relationship.

I think it's a nice note you sent......but I wouldn't sweat it. It's not your sole responsibility to fix this...nor should you take the heat for it. It's HIS kids....let HIM deal with it.

I know you are just looking out for him because you love him. The kids will see that in time.
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