My boyfriend of 4 years stated hanging out with his ex again and then broke up with me out of the blue! I was devastated! He ended up sleeping with her right after we broke up! She's been around the block, if ya know what I mean! He also knows this... Its been 2 weeks since our break up and we have talked a few times since then. After 4 years we talk like we are best friends. Yesterday morning he called and wanted to get back together! I was nervous and happy at the same time! He said he realized he lost a good thing and he wants it back. He said he loves me and he will never hurt me again! We talked about it for 2 hours. Then later that night he called back and said maybe we should not get back together he says he's confused and doesn't know what he wants! He is confusing me! He told me that when he's with his ex all he can think about is me! He says he doesn't feel anything for her! I want him to come back to me! I think we could make a fresh start! Is there anything I can say to him to help him find out what he wants in life? I love him so much, HELP ME!
Personally, I wouldn't want to get involved with him again unless he did some professional counseling. He committed an act of Treason.
Treason means betrayal. It is treachery. Treachery requires trust; it is violation of oath and trust.
At one point, committing treason was convicted by hanging. I suppose those days are over, but I would think long and hard regarding this young man's virtues and character.
Is there anything I can say to him to help him find out what he wants in life?
I'd rather have you spend your time thinking about what YOU want from life. If you want someone who plays you like a yo-yo, go with this fellow. If you absolutely must have him, then wait for several years for him to grow up before you get involved again. He will also hopefully develop some impulse control during this time.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
Thank you everyone for the replies! I just can't seem to move on, I know its only been 2 and a half weeks. It feels like the pain will never go away! I think about him day and night! But he was a huge part of my life for 4 years! Its kinda like that feeling when someone dies.... A LOSS! He has been the one to call me every time which has been like 5 times now! I love hearing from him! He says he is confused and doesn't know what he wants from life.... WHY? I know what I want, HIM! I think he has been listening to his stepmom! She doesn't like me and has been telling him that I'm no good for him and so on..... What does she know? She doesn't even know me that well! He works with her and lives with her but I don't know why he feels the need to please her! I haven't asked him about this because I don't think he would tell me the truth anyways!
I think you should move on. Tell him if he ever really figures out what he wants then to look you up and if you're available and if you're still interested, you might consider him. Like someone else said, you'll just be his yo-yo if you stay involved in his confusion. As you said, you're not confused - he is - so there's no need for you to have to deal with his erratic feelings and thoughts. You'll end up with your head spinning.
Hi. I know it's very painful when you lose someone you love, but you have to think of what is best for you. If you truly believe you can make a new start and trust him. If you truly believe that he won't be seeing his ex-girlfriend behind your back. If you truly believe that his step mom isn't going to try to sabotage your relationship. And if you truly believe that he is the one, then by all means do whatever it takes to make it work. But if you have any doubts what so ever, you have to trust those gut feelings and move on. It's not easy and it hurts like hell, but you will only get hurt worse in the long run. Good luck with everything. Be happy!!
...how we are so devoted to a person even though they've broken up with us
and either started dating someone else or slept with someone else.
we still think of them day and night wishing we could have them back and
if they called we'd run to the phone.
I'm guilty of it too.
But, we seem to forget or at least block out all the things that they are doing to us.
"Yes of course i'll take you back, even though you just kissed some other guy last night"
Or
"don't be silly, of course I want you back, even though you just let some other guy put his
penis inside you"...
WHAT??? What exactly is the problem here? You took me for granted and went into someone
elses arms and I welcome you back?
Hey all,
His sister and I still talk and she told me that he has his ex over all the time, just today as a matter of fact! So I'm pretty sure they are an item! That was like a stab through the heart! Even though I already knew he slept with her, he told me he doesnt have feelings for her! I think he's just trying to keep me on the back burner just in case it doesn't wok with her! Thats f***** up!
He's an bonafide loser. It sounds like he wants a stand by harem for his sexual interests, not a person he can have a serious relationship with. Don't ever date him again, unless you want to look forward to the next time he gets an urge to stray.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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