Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
Hi, I'm Jess... Im 17 and i started an internship at an architecture firm a few months ago. My boss, who's in his mid to late twenties and who happens to be very good looking has been flirting with me. I've been flirting back too. Whenever I've worn something skimpy to work he has complimented me.
My problem is that he wants to have sex with me, and i want to too, partly because he's so good looking and charming, but mostly because I dont want to get fired. Does this make me a whore? Should i do it with him? If i do, how can i say yes without making myself look bad.
This is total sexual harrassment. If you fear your job if you don't nail him, tell someone above him. There HAS to be someone above him. Get HIM fired.
It is perfectly normal to want to sleep with a charming good looking man. But when it comes to your boss or anyone you have business with for that matter, you should understand the risks at hand. In this case there are major risks. You could lose your job like you said. I don't think you should have led him on in the beginning, but now you have to do something about it. Either sleep with him and accept the consequences, or be strong and tell him how you are sorry for ever leading him on. Kevin is right, and not only because he is Very hot!
If you were eighteen, and he slept with you, he'd be a power-abusing jackass who needed to be civilly pursued.
But you're seventeen. That would make him a power-abusing jackass who needed to be criminally pursued.
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Hello Jess,
I know that it is extremely intoxicating to have a good-looking, charming man commenting on your appearance and making you feel like you are important, but this man is using his position in an inappropriate way. Sexual harassment is a power relationship, and lets face it in the work place this man has power. He is using you, although it may not seem like it...he is. You're hot and you are working there for a short time (internship) which means that he can have some fun and then you leave and wa-la no commitment required.
Please be careful and as previous posters stated DO NOT put up with it and DO NOT diminish the respect you have for yourself by doing something that you might regret later on in your life. If he really is interested in you, he can take the time to get to know you. Although, if you are 17 and he is well into his 20's....well....as far as I am aware that is not legal.
Go to google and type in: Sexual Harassment, there is some great information available on what it is and how to deal with it.
Some questions to consider are:
1. Would you put up with his behavior if he were on the same level or a subordinate of yours in the work force? (i.e. if he also had an internship, would you be flirting with and thinking about him in this manner?)
2. Would you consider having sex with him if you did not fear losing your internship because of it?
Please be careful and weigh this decision carefully!
Also, see if there is any way you can document (tape record) or something a conversation where you feel that sex is being suggested/offered because if you take it to a higher up, and accuse him of sexual harassment you don't just want it to be a he said/she said situation.
No dont sleep with him just cause hes charming and good looking and you dont want to get fired because if you do sleep with him thats a good way to get fired.think about it your 17 you have your whole life ahead of you.[i]
Last edited by Helpme2004; 9th February 2004 at 11:30 PM..
Reason: wrong subject
So you're young, and you obviously have a lot to learn.
Classy gals, starting out in a new career don't flirt with their boss, nor do they wear skimpy clothes to work knowing full well that their boss wants to screw them. Do you want to get a bad reputation which could come back to bite you in the ass in the future (career-wise)? Do you want to be known for your talent as a budding architect, or do you want to be known as being a tramp?
of course you don't sleep with your boss, that's a no-brainer. By virtue of the fact that you're taking the time to ask the question, that should tell you that somewhere inside you know it's not right.
Geez,you've obviously worked hard to get where you are.....you want to start off a new career acting like an easy tramp who can't conduct herself professionally? Wake up and smell the coffee.
Charming and good looking guys in their 20's that hit on 17 year old girls are scum bags.
Don't do anything with him, I really think you will have a lot of regret about this later on.
Go talk to the HR person and cover your ass. Let them know what is going on and how you feel about this. Believe me, any decent company would want to know about this kind of unacceptable behavior from one of their employees.
Well, you do have a choice here. Be the temporary plaything of a user, or be a person with self-respect.
You know, bosses have a lot of power. This guy could use his looks and charm to make a play on women his own age outside the workplace, and I am sure he is actively doing that. But he'd also like something easy and convenient - someone handy for a BJ at work and easy to push around because she is young and naive.
How about telling your parents what is going on? You're a minor - you need protection from dangers like this.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
AND....even if he claims he won't tell anyone, a guy like that is going to brag to everyone that he bagged the hot 17 year old babe. DON'T DO IT. This happened to me when I was young - although the person was a coworker not in a position of power - and he told everyone. I couldn't believe it. They even knew what nights we got together and all. It was so humiliating. And I'm sure that to this day what people there would remember about me is that situation, not what kind of work I did.
Jess...Please clear your mind...do not be confused.
Do not do anything that haunt you for the whole life. Or you feel regretful for life.
You are still so young....not worth...totally not worth to pay such a price if you really sleep with him.
Talk to your parents about it...
And I'm sure that to this day what people there would remember about me is that situation, not what kind of work I did
bingo -- Jess, if you are serious about getting into this kind of profession, clean up your act. Start dressing and acting responsibly, otherwise you're forever going to carry around the reputation of being "that easy intern," whether you mean to be seen that way or not.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
No dont sleep with him just cause hes charming and good looking and you dont want to get fired because if you do sleep with him thats a good way to get fired.think about it your 17 you have your whole life ahead of you.[i]
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