[monkey00]

today was a weird but fun day in a way.
all the mistakes i made with girls in the past, i was able to surprisingly NOT DO ANY OF THOSE.
i was a cocky & funny guy for the most part today, dunno what took over me.
but i think it gave positive results...

i was pooling today with a friend, we were teasing each other a lot and what i decided to do she would do too. we were play hitting each other, but she didnt even try to injur me at all...just lightly.
she went to another country during the break and when seh came back she had a refreshing different look, her hair and shirts basically.

she even brought up the answer if i had gf's before i said "yea", then she said how much?
i didnt answer her..hehe

i remember when we were walkin in the street she mentioned something about herself acting like a guy. then i said "who said that?" then i said "hm..maybe i did in hs when u were always being aggressive?"

she mentioned something about her butt and face negatively...but i dont really remember how i responded when she said those....
now that i got back home, i think she was expecting me to compliment her and tell her she was pretty. although i dont think i'll ever be able to tell her that she looks pretty, or compliment the way she looks. #1 i dont find her physically attractive #2 i only consider her a friend #3 basically im just not interested in moving further

an hr after i got home she called me to ask me if i needed the bio textbook for class i said yea...she said she was gonna lend it to me for this semester and sell it the semester afterwards.
i dont remember when/if i told her i had a bio class...

i'm pretty sure her interest level in me has risen since yesterday/today
but anyway i'd rate her a 6

so u guys think she likes me?....very awkward that this kinda stuff can happen in only 3 hrs...
and if she does...do you think it would be honest of me to "date" her even tho i dont feel the same?
or pursue other girls that im more attracted to instead?

[Tkay]

she probably likes u.

Your not supposed to really DATE with a girl, knowing she likes u, knowing, you dont like her back, and you aren't going to.

She sounds like a real good friend... So don't do stupid things, it can mess up your friendship. Think twice

[amerikajin]

I'd guess she's interested in you. You probably showed only marginal interest in her, so to her you're being a challenge. She doesn't know yet whether or not she can snag you on her hook, so she'll keep fishing. To her, by being a challenge, you're the one who's in command, and she likes it that way.

[moimeme]

To her, by being a challenge, you're the one who's in command, and she likes it that way.

Oh pshaw. You were behaving in a way that led her to believe you liked her - play hitting and teasing. You may not have responded to any of her ploys for compliments, but she's now going on your behaviour. This isn't a 'challenge' at all, but rather someone responding to cues which should mean that he's receptive to her. Unfortunately, it does not because he was just kidding around.

The #1 question people ask around here is 'does s/he like me' precisely because people don't want to get involved with 'challenges' - due to the potential for failure and rejection. They want us to tell them that their intended does like them so that they feel safe to proceed. If she had written to us and said 'he teased me back and play-fought with me', we'd all tell the poor girl 'yes, it sounds like he likes you'. This is why she's interested.

I'm beginning to think, Amerikajin, that your so-called 'challenge' consists in dropping some cues that one might be interested - just enough to allow some poor fool the idea that she has a chance - and then observing as the hapless creature proceeds on that premise. She's not intent on conquering you; she just thinks she's been given the go-ahead.

[monkey00]

hmm..thx for the replies guys..another thing is..

the truth is, i've never had a gf before.
but i think saying that i did benefited to the interest level.

last time when a girl asked me if i had a gf before i said no, and i think it may have kicked her interest level down.

maybe i shouldve just told the truth and said i didnt have gfs before, cause the fact is that im not even interested in her.

what do you ppl think about this? was it a good thing or bad thing i lied?
and if i did, how long u think i can keep this up? or if the next time she ask i just be honest?

what would've you done in my situation?

[amerikajin]

Good question, Monk. I don't know. A part of me says you shouldn't have to hand her a resume of past dating experience, but on the other hand, that's not something you can easily fake. I think the truth is probably just the best thing. Just say "I've had a few dating experiences" and leave it at that.

[monkey00]

Originally posted by amerikajin
Good question, Monk. I don't know. A part of me says you shouldn't have to hand her a resume of past dating experience, but on the other hand, that's not something you can easily fake. I think the truth is probably just the best thing. Just say "I've had a few dating experiences" and leave it at that.

hm..yea that sounds like a good tip Amerikajin, i'll keep that in mind if another girl brings up that question in the future.

Moimeme:

i agree that it's the challenge of it that makes them interested. i think it's also the mystery that lures them in, because they dont know wwhat your intentions are. subconsciously, girls are attracted to the "i dont give a crap about you, you cant get to me" kind of attitude.

i bet if i'd compliment her each time i'd see her or something, i'd be repeating the same mistake i have done in the past with other girls.

by doing what is "unexpected" or "not giving in, not revealing your intentions" kind of attitude is the thing that girls truthfully desire.

after this, i discovered you can be a partial nice guy and at the same time work the system to your advantage. the problem with "nice guys" is that they normally do what's expected of them when courting someone....buying gifts, compliments, giving them attention..putting them on the pedestal.

if you do what is unexpected, it leaves room for mystery and curiousity...