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How can I get back with her, when she's been with another guy? should it bug me?

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Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 26th January 2004, 7:05 PM   #1
dizzyboy
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How can I get back with her, when she's been with another guy? should it bug me?

We broke up, my girl and I, after 5 awesome years. she's leaving because she says
she needs to find herself and needs to feel what it's like to be on her own for a little while,
maybe not forever, but she's not giving me any definites. She needs space.. So I'm painfully going to go on with my life
and she's going to move out. I'm just wondering about something, wondering if this sort of things bugs anyone else....


Sometimes I think, Okay, She says that there's nobody else and that this is not really about dating other guys...
But I wonder sometimes, if she might try it. I've never been left behind like this or wanted so bad to get back together
with a girl. When you start a relationship with a girl it's fun and fresh and new and you don't really think about what guys
she's been with in the past. I'm just running into the problem of ...If my ex does date other guys and kisses them and sleeps
with them, then down the road wants to get back together with me, I don't know if i'd be able to enjoy her the same way again.
I'd feel like she just had to try out other guys and now she's coming back to me?? That sucks..But Am I just being stupid?

I know some might say, "well you could date other girls too", but that's not what I want. I'd rather be alone and I'm a handsome guy too.
I just believe in Love...and to think she might be out there dating other guys kills me. How do I get over it?
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Old 26th January 2004, 8:12 PM   #2
UCFKevin
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My ex reassured me that our breakup wasn't for her to go out with any other guys. There was no one else involved. Wasn't interested in anyone.

Yeah, that was a lie.

At least, it turned into one.

So when she says she doesn't want to date someone, that could easily change at the drop of a hat. I'm not saying that'll happen, but you gotta be prepared for something like that.

And as for you not knowing if you should take her back if she was with someone, dude, there's nothing stupid or weird about thinking like that at all. Personally, I wouldn't take back someone who was with someone else during a break on a matter of pure principals. I deserve better than that. So do you.

If you and she don't work things out, time will pass and your heart will heal. Trust me. Mine has.
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Old 26th January 2004, 8:15 PM   #3
maxmuscle
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UCKevin is right,

She WILL date again! Nothing is written in stone.............
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Old 27th January 2004, 6:23 AM   #4
LeafsFan_WadeBelak2
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im going through that EXACT situation right now. My girlfriend of over 2 years left me. And about 1 month after we broke up she started seeing another guy. Its been a crazy situation, because nothing has followed the "script" so to speak. So i'll just tell the story in short form. At first, like a moron, i was desperate, and i tried contacting her constantly trying to get her to change her mind. Then i stopped that, and backed off. Then she started contacting me and wanted to be "friends". Then after being "friends" and talking once in awhile, she thought it wasn't a good idea. So i stopped talking to her alltogether. But now she wants to be "friends" again, and wants to talk. She says she misses me, and she crys at night cause she misses what we had. I told her that im not sure i can do this. Ive talked to her a couple times since then, and im still debating on whether or not to talk to her at all. Its really hard cause im still in love with her and i love talking to her, but on the other hand i think about her and this other guy and i think about how she left me and i get mad and hurt. So im at a standstill right now. On one hand i think that if i be her friend and talk to her, maybe she'll miss what we had more and more and want to get back with me. On the other hand, being her friend could possibly kill any chance we have because she wont have the opportunity to miss what we had cause we still talk, and she'll still have her b/f, which means she has the best of both worlds, a friend in me, and a b/f. While i end up with nothing.

Love sucks sometimes man, but you have to go with how you feel i guess. If you truely love her, you'll be able to forgive her for hurting you and you'll be able to get back with her. But, thats not to say what shes doing is right, cause actions like that can also cause too much pain that its almost impossible to feel the same way about a person again. Thats how i kinda feel now about my ex, but im still torn cause i still love her. Only time will tell i guess.
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Old 27th January 2004, 1:37 PM   #5
dizzyboy
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Well, I'll know what to do when the time comes I suppose. The way it stands right now, She's moved out, But she
tells me that she still wants to know me and still wants to do things together with me, If I want to with her.
Everytime she's come over to get small things to take back to her new place, She looks sad, She cries, We hug for a long time, she keeps telling me she loves me, She gives me little kisses, she tells me she misses me etc. I don't know what's going to happen.


I just know that, If someone else DID come into the picture, I would immediately take myself out of the picture. I can't
be her friend then, if that's what it comes down to. I don't want to know her if that happens...I don't think I could take it.

Part of me thinks I need to cut all ties now, Let her be free, Not be so available to her. But I don't want to alienate her, because I'm still so much in Love with her. I don't want to be completely out of her life only to have her run to someone else for comfort ( i.e. another guy) I don't know. It's a weird gamble and a strange thing to balance. Love is a strange thing. Maybe I'll just get fat and become a drunken artist that lives in the hills of France trying o get over the woman he once was with.
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