Just read a thread that a wife asked the O/W to have self-respect and leave her husband alone, my question is:
Do these wives who live with a cheating husband have self-respect?
I don't like these women who get involved with married men, I have no sympathy for these wives who play victims and blame the o/w but never have the guts to leave a cheating husband, either.
My guess is that you're not speaking from experience, and have no idea what this does to a person. I don't think they're seeking your approval, you can't empathize because you can't comprehend the situation.
Fifi, read some of my posts; you will perhaps understand a little more.
I have far more concerns than merely self respect - and a whole world more aspects to my self-respect than whether or not my spouse is cheating.
For instance: if I needlessly break up my very fixable marriage, and screw my children over because of it, my self-respect will be much more damaged. Follow me?
Last edited by Benedict; 25th January 2004 at 8:47 PM..
Reason: awful spelling :)
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yep; i would not be too quick to judge any side of this situation.
i've thought about it in my own relationship; it would be naive to assume it's not a possibility for either of us. a remote one at this stage, but it exists nonetheless. i think that's a healthy assumption to make; it's healthy to understand that you can never really know what another human being is going to do.
i think i might stick it out if it did happen, hilary clinton style, if it was with insert workmate, intern, or secretary. it's not terrific, but i think you can be a wife of a cheating spouse, stay with him, and not be a victim. in my opinion, it depends somewhat on how well you can spin.
if it was with someone i knew socially, i think i would leave him. i'm pretty confident i'll make it ok with or without a man, and i would consider this more of an inexcusable betrayal.
it's tempting to try and judge the other way around after all the anti-infidelity stuff, i'm sure. but i don't think your post is heading in a productive direction and it is unlikely to harvest sincere responses.
i appreciate your desire to at least put some new information into the debate, but this is a polemical and pointless direction.
why not really rigourously address whether or not monogamy is cultural or natural?
Why don't we just bail the moment we find out about our spouse's infidelity? We made a commitment. Many of us have children and have to weigh what divorce will do to those children. We have a shared history - in my case 30 years of knowing him, 20 years of marriage.
Self-respect allows us to remain strong to try to repair the marriage. Self-respect in my case helped me find the strength to ask him to leave when I had exhausted all avenues (counselling, behavior modification, pleading, promising, praying) and he still wanted the OW to be a part of his life.
I know some people would bring up children as defense! but I believe they stay for themselves, not for children. and another great line is: "I love my husband"----at least, this one makes more sense than "for children's sake". unfortunately, the husband doesn't love her as much as she deserves.
From my observation, the o/w moves on quickly and find new happiness with someone else, the wife who stays with her cheating husband suffers forever--she doesnt have to but she chooses to!
If I were married and he had a one night fling....I don't want to know and wouldn't care.
However, if he had an emotionally involved long term sex-a-thon with someone....I wouldn't stay with him regardless. I'd garage sale all his crap, take him for every dime.....and make his life a living hell.
I think this is why my exhusband just left town without too much explanation for 6 years before I heard from him again. He was SCARED of me.....and STILL is....hahahaha!
""I'd garage sale all his crap, take him for every dime.....and make his life a living hell. ""
lol. that actually made me think of a song by an R&B artist where she finds her man cheating and spends all of his money, and sells all of his stuff, and puts whatever is left in a sack for him. Revenge is better than money, she says.
Originally posted by Girlie
Revenge is better than money, she says.
Girlie, neither for money nor revenge, I think I would do it for "Self-love" & "self-respect". a cheating husband certainly has no respect for his wife, so, let her stand up for herself.
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children low your self-respect?
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