A helpless soul, will i ever recover...
Hey all im a new guy on this and just trying to figure out this all scenario, right.
Some experianced people might say my situation is a teen romance but i know for a fact that is a one in a life time experiance i have had. I got together with a girl i met through a christian gathering and mutual friends. It was around the end of summer 2 years ago. She looked nice and we always seemed to have such a special attraction
and chemesty between us, so after 2 weeks of seeing each other we started going out. I hadnt many girlfriends in the past and if i did they were always long term ones.
I fell madly in love with this girl, we had so many things in common i always thought it was too good to be true! We were together nealry everyday and got closer more and more as each day passed. We got to the stage were we would do anything for eachother, and became like best friends. We played computer games 2gether got into the same bands together and so forth. After a year of the most perfect reletionship i could had asked for, a sudden change came accross and swept me off my feet. My girlfriend got acceped in our citys univerity and got a part time job. I didnt mind that it was the fact she didnt have much time for me as she wanted to spend time with people from her work and Uni. I clenched hard and though i cant be selfish so i willl allow her to spend her time as she pleases. I got into college and got myself a part time job also. This ment we saw eachother very rearly. At nites she would go out drinkin with her friends and i would try to find something to do like call every friend i could just for something to do. Every time we met up i kept noticing a change in her, she was never like she used to be, she was more flirty around my friends and kept goin on about what she was doin with her friends. I could take it much longer so i eventually confronted her about it. She said she had not changed and thought that everything was fine. Half a year after all this everything just went pearshapped! We constanlty argued but never broke up coz we still loved eachother and somehow kept going back to eachother. I got really depressed and start taking drugs of any form and any kind to make me forget for a while to clear my mind as i used to say. Before i knew it i was addicted and got my girlfriend try to help me out of a mess i created. Things went well after a while and i was off drugs. But just when i thought things couldnt get any better she told me she was pregnant... I burst out in tears as soon as she told me, i hugged her and said that i loved her and would do anything to take care of her and the baby. I couldnt tell a soul, my parents would kill me and anyone else i couldnt trust. We got really paranoid about everything, like how are we going to support the baby, are we mature enough, everybody is going to find out, what about our careers, (i dropped out of college). We argued more and more each time we saw eachother, and finally the worst came along. She lost the baby... and then i took a stupid reaction to run away, anywhere. I got a plane to greece were i was brought up and stayed with my relatives. She couldnt cope, but i couldnt be there for her as i felt slight insanity everytime i saw her. I couldnt get to terms with what was goin on, it was all to much to take in. I never spoke to her for 4 months. As we were broken up for so long, i thought i would care for her anymore or love her for that matter, but as soon as i met her that October nite in the cafe, i wanted her back into my life. I apologied for what i had done and asked her if she would like to give us another chance. She smilingly replied 'Sorry I have another boyfriend now'.... My heart sank... i could believe my sweetheart had moved on with her life and i was just there, infront of her, feeling so empty and guilty. That day was only about 3 months ago now, and since then i cant stop thinking about her and cant get on with my own life, i have tried so hard, but at the end of the day i fail misserably. I have met many new girl but none appeal, i dont even know if i want to move on. I just want this broken heart of mine to stop bleeding and hurting so much. I really think my life is going down because of all of this....
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