why does my guy crack jokes about this?

sweetmind20 · 20th January 2004, 3:27 PM

hi,

i have a somewhat interesting question.. my fiance and i are very close and while we do spend most of our days together, at least one day out of the week we go out and do our separate things. he has had a close male friend since junior high, whom he hangs out with when we are not together. i have never made him feel guilty about going out with friends. in fact, i try to encourage it and i tell him things like,"i hope you have a good time, or.. have fun.. you look nice today"... i am genuine about it.. the thing is, he seems to get embarassed or uncomfortable when i do this. he starts making jokes.. different kinds.. " yeah, i have to look good for my bitch (meaning his guy friend). or yea , i have to look nice for my gay lover".
why does he say things like this? i know you people don't know him personally but i wonder if other guys have done this kind of thing at one point as well. just wondering... thanks!

SoleMate · 20th January 2004, 3:41 PM

This is VERY odd. Does he appear to be in any way dressing up or trying to look extra nice when he sees this "friend"? Cause you know what THAT means.

sweetmind20 · 20th January 2004, 3:49 PM

hi solemate,

my guy is not gay. lol. even if he had tendencies, this guy friend looks... like a crazy mountain man. so, no i don't think he's falling for him. :P at least i hope not!

mintjulep · 20th January 2004, 4:15 PM

Hmmm...that is weird. The only experience I've had in this area was when my friends, who are members of the same fraternity as my boyfriend, would make jokes about my boyfriend's best friend and ex-roommate at the fraternity being his boyfriend. They'd always say he was jealous of me for stealing his lover, and things of that nature. Maybe it's a homophobic thing? It does seem in poor taste, though. Maybe you can try bringing it up in a frank yet innocently curious nature. I'd certainly like to know what is up with the gay jokes amongst perfectly straight guys

crysiet · 20th January 2004, 4:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sweetmind20
why does he say things like this? i know you people don't know him personally but i wonder if other guys have done this kind of thing at one point as well. just wondering... thanks!

What can I say, guys just joke about everything. I knew a guy that joked about sex with his bitch (really his female dog, Reina). Dont overthink it unless he seems mad when he say it. Then, it might mean something else.

Thinkalot · 20th January 2004, 9:48 PM

He probably gets self conscious and so makes jokes. My guy makes funny jokes about all kinds of things.

Bunnyboy · 22nd January 2004, 9:55 AM

Prob a little self cons about making an effort to look good when seeing a "mate" (after all, it is not cool to make an effort to look good for your same sex friend if you are hetero - .............joking!!!!!), and therefore making a joke defuses this. Nothing to ponder about too much tho as us guy's are not as complex as you girls think

I joke about a lot of things with my gf, brother and friends, sometimes of this nature. It is a boy thing to joke in this manner, especially when making the time or effort to see friends. I meet up with my old surfing buddies from Queensland a few times a year to have a week of surfing and catch up, and all those guys are definately "bitches" , 'man-lovers' and 'man-whores' and my gf and brother know that i am talking about my surf buddies when I use these terms (note this type of gangster rap language (yo, yo!!)

makes up very little of my regular conversation!). Sometimes my mates and I even use this type of language and interaction with each other when involved in Tom Foolery.

Great to hear that you encourage the space for your bf to do his own thing (and for you also). Nothing worse then to hear the generical male and his tale of woe of being "under the tumb" of his gf who acts as a handbrake for all of his pre-spouse interests.

P.S. My brother is a "bitch" also, but I don't make an effort dress up for him tho.

Bunnyboy

tattoomytoe · 22nd January 2004, 10:14 AM

he could be one of those guys that can't handle a compliment well so he makes fun of himself...or maybe it has been said by others in the past..like that is why they have been friends for soo long- cause they are gay lovers..that way at least YOU atre not saying it about him.

sweetmind20 · 22nd January 2004, 1:44 PM

thanks everyone.. your points were well taken. i'm glad there are smart people in this forum. :P thanks again.