[monkey]

Hi
I'm still living in hope that time will heal us, because i love her but i'm feeling so decieved & used.
I came back to UK from America to get treatment for terrible panic attacks that i was getting. I followed my gf there because her job. She was there for me & was more like my nurse & told me this & that mabe we would be better cooling it a bit. I said OK. She wrote me letters to give me support whilst away, that we'd get back together after my treatment. I put a lot on her for a month, i was very insecure & emotional & i regret it, i feel guilty, but i couldn't help it!
Now there is the matter of 6000 miles between us, everything changes! she doesn't love me anymore, her parents are angry that i was like this to her (like i enjoyed it), she doesn't want me to come back & she wants me to find someone else!
I am devastated, i feel decieved, lied to, used. To think that this girl that i love so much that is everything i dreamed of & that we shared so much together.
She always said never say never & now she says she doesn't want me ever, i don't understand that.
I feel bad to what she has done & hurt but i love her. I stopped drinking to help my anxiety but now feel i don't care anymore. My heart is bleeding. I feel so guilty & think about what if i hadn't been ill. I feel guilty.

[yes]

no need to feel guilty - you were ill (as in SICK, as in, had a chemical problem you couldn't control). your best bet is to recover fully and maybe seek counselling to discover why these panic attacks really started in the first place.

as for the girl, i'd let it be for now - just stop contacting her. you have to get yourself on track before being in a relationship. maybe take a few months off, calm down, and then contact her again, if you still feel like it.

best of luck,
-yes

[monkey]

Thanks Yes
Your right, i just neglect myself at the moment, trying to concentrate on her. Her reasoning for doing this is hurting me but i guess she needs no reasons.

On my return & i realised this i was so hurt & decieved & refused to accept it & our mails have sometimes been aggresive because i was questioning all the time, but i felt this was warranted.

I leaft everything in England, to start a new life with my girl abroad & now everything is in pieces. It's 11 weeks since i returned & i love her more & this isn't getting any easier. Im depressed & don't want to be here & find existing very hard.My family tell me to forget her & she tells me to move on, what about how i feel. I just hope this time thing works it's magic for both of us.
Thanks