Yeah, it's me again. Same problem as before. I want to talk to her so badly. 3 months and i still feel this way. I just want to call and say "look, i don't want to try to convince you to come back, i just want to know why. Why did it happen, and what are you feeling"
I don't know what that would accomplish. I don't think she'll ever call me on her own to eplain it. This sucks so much. I thought that time would take away this hurt and these urges, but it gets worse with time.
At least i get out now, but I actually think it hurts more now that she wont even speak to me than it did then.
Have yo stop to think that may be that way you fell is what you should do.
I mean really if you think about it time has not healed you wound than the best thing to do is face then head on.
CAll her talk to her and ask her what you want to know. Because untill you do that , untill you get your answer you can start to put the past behind you and move on to the future.
I mean think about it .... What is the wore that can happen??
1. She might not pick up ?? Then your were you started. ! ! !
2. She picks up and you talk to her ! ! . wow you get to get it all out of you chest. You just might get the answers to your questions.
3. She pick up and she's mad at you for calling her . Than this will help you realize that you guys spliting up was the right choice, then you wont fell so conpell to talk to her and find out why you wont want to know why? she's a b*tch lol
See any way you look at it is the right thing to do. . . I mean it might not help her but it will help you . . . It will put you in the path to coping with it and lettin it go.
Sincerly
> > >>>>>>>>>confused-and_worried>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Did you not try to contact her via txt and she did not contact you?
Phone is even more personal then txt and you think she is going to respond??
Please give this girl one sign that you are not still there by leaving her alone.
She is just like you, she wants what she cant have. You can't have her and look how bad you want her. She knows she can have you, does she want you?? Is she calling you?? 3 months and no call?? I know you love this chick, but she is having her cake and eating it too. Its freaking killing me and I am 1000 miles from you.
You have given her NO CLUE that you have moved on, have you?? You say its been 3 months but just last week you said that it has been 2 months. Why dont you start over right now!!!!
Today say to yourself, I will not contact her, talk to her friends about her, listen to what her friends have to say about her, wont txt her, email her or nothing. ZERO NADDA.
Then see how long you can do that and see what happens.
Does this girl have bronze breast or what??? Do you want her so bad because she is with someone else already?? I just dont get it kanuck. If you love her so much, then you need to let her go for a little bit. Think about it, if she really loved you.....she would come back. Then you know that what you have is real. That is all that you need to motivate yourself right there.
Timing!!!Its either there or it isnt. Bottom line!!
There is nothing more that I would love then to talk to my ex right now and tell her I am sorry for breaking her heart and that I am trying to get myself to a point in my life where if another girl comes along and wants to take the next step, I will be ready. Because I certainly was not ready when she was in my life. You see, I am trying to better myself. I know I made a mistake, but it is how you recover from your mistakes that makes you a great person.
Mark your losses, then figure out why you lost and fix it!!!
If the ex comes back, then you will be ready, if she doesnt, the next girl is going to get a guy 10x better then the ex got.
Kanuk - I heard through friends that my ex was very apologetic (even though I didn't ask for any apology) and that he realized what he did wrong (I am glad he realized, but it does no good to me now). The point is that it doesn't matter now, because we are broken up. If he were to say all this to me now, I would say, thank you and I wish you well. That is all. I have nothing more to say. I can assure you that your ex would do the same, if she were to respond. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't change that I don't want to be with the ex anymore. It is over there is no going back. As much as you think you can change things, you can't. It's an unfortunate situation, I know, but you will now learn from this and that's the best that you can do.
I'm glad that you are posting here instead of contacting her. Good job.
Fight the urge as much as you can!! Although no one can live for someone else here and I think some folks bring a certain level of bitterness with them on these posts, each life is unique. No one knows your situation better than you do. If it makes you feel better to call, try to call less. If it makes you feel better not to call, then don't.! Just be aware of the consequences of your actions, you'l have nobody to kick later but yourself. and ther will be no one on these posts that will hold your hand. Read and take the advice where it fits, then do what you must. Best of luck.
truelyme and sarah12 you guys have summed it right up.. whatever you do DO NOT CONTACT HER!!!! leave well alone...if you do you may as well have been contacting her for the whole last three months.. this girl needs to know that you can stand on your own and you will.. come on be strong.. it tough and it kills but it sthe only way to keep you rdignity, self respect and above all sanity...
hang on in there.. do anything else but stay away from the phone or any other means of contact..
mandrews - you are right. We don't. But we do know well enough. Kanuk's original post is somewhere on this site and a lot of us went through it with him so we do know his situation well, and in his case, I would have to say that it is best that he not call. And he knows this too!
Kanuk - I'll try and keep you entertained here! Hasn't school started for you? I'm sure there's some fluids problem you can solve to keep yourself busy.
I'm actually at school right now. I finished all of my homework for the week unfortunatly. That's the problem with only having 2 courses left. I have nothing to fill my sapre time with. And i've already been to the gym for 2 hours today.
Curse it all
I know it's best not to call her, especially given the 'circumstances' But i would have hoped I could of at least been forgiven. Do you think that will ever happen? It eats away at me daily, the thought that this women i adore hates or loathes me.
Oh, I definitely agree that Kanuk should NOT call!!! I just think it was hard on him not to do so. I have had to wean myself from that, it took a little doing, but I managed it. In some cases, a little minimal contact (unless asked not to) may not drive her away, and yet let her know that you still care, or whatever message is to be conveyed. Depending on the circumstances, that may be needed to move things in a positive direction. some people figure if you don't say SOMETHING, then you don't care, each case is unique. In any case, I do think K has to stop calling.
Silence is the killer. It gives a person time to think! I actually told my ex not to contact me anymore because she pissed me off. She is still playing games. She emails me this morning and tell's me she was thinking of me, love me, and wishes me the best. She knows I have the ability to stay away. But I don't want to. That's my situation with her. Besides I can use the time alone to better myself. How can anyone make best use of their appeal if they are not on all cyclinders?
I explained my situation for a reason. You have to let your ex know you can live without her. Let her know you don't need her and life goes on. Women are telekinetic or have Extra Sensory Perception (ESP). They can detect your vibe, aroa, or how you are feeling. Try and stay silent for about 2 months.
STOP TREATING HER LIKE SHE IS MISS UNIVERSE OF LOVE!
Except for the accidental sms. I am leaving her alone and HAVE NOT called her. I jut want to is all. I'm beginning to think i may have some issues that need councelling.
I'm doing my best here. But it does not appear to be good enough.
It might be a good idea to get counselling as you seem in quite low point still and it has been three months.. you seem to have your gf on a pedastel and are not considering yourself maybe counselling will help you see that you are important to and that you need to start having some self worth and understanding.. So that you can begin to re-build your life as you seem very much in limbo which isn't healthy..
I always believe that if one person wants to split & the other doesn't , why does everything go with the one who wants the split.
Both agreed to the relationship in the first place so both should go 50/50 to try & resolve it, whoever is responsible for the situation, it should be a pre-requisition.
Everyone deserves the chance to show their change, depending on the severity. Mine was a medical problem, that i couldn't help. Not a good reason in my eyes to end a relationship, to seperate & give space ok, but then a chance to show the other their recovery!
As for the contact/no contact thing. There is definately a fine line. To bombard them with mails, phone calls isn't good but to never contact them may show them your trying to forget them & your moving on, where as your not, your just trying to give them space so they'l respect you & that they will see a good side & mabe want you back. So make them realise how you feel deeply, but not often. I think!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
The way you fell is exactly want you need to do.
Have yo stop to think that may be that way you fell is what you should do.
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