My husband did the same thing to me for TOO long! That ass had the nerve to say the reason he looked at porn was because I only had sex when I wanted too. That's bull...I think I turned him down one time our entire marriage.
My husband would get the mood going by grabbing my hand and putting it on his thing. I was then coaxed to get him up. Once he was up, he wanted me to get on top and do all the work. All this after he's done absolutely nothing to get me worked up. So I turned him down.
He started looking at porn, and blaming me. Finally, I bought a dildo, and told him if he wasn't going to do something for me, then I was going to look out for myself. Honestly, our sexual relationship improved a LOT after I purchased a sex toy. I don't know if it's because he realized that I didn't need him, if he realized that he didn't have to put any effort into sex because I had outside help, or if the dildo made him so horny he couldn't resist me
Besides the dildo, I worked very hard to learn patience. My husband is the type that when something agrivates him, he gets really mad really quick, says something he doesn't mean, or breaks something, then calms down just as fast...at no point was he angry at me, just frusterated at something else...like accidently knocking a plant off a table would frusterate someone. I used to throw a fit every time he got angry, so we ended up fighting non-stop!
I started learning to just let him throw his little fit...as long as he didn't break any of my things. Why should I get mad? Get mad because he's mad? That's stupid....although he still gets angry when I get mad at inatimite objects.
Anyway, back to the point. Maybe you and your guy are putting too much stress on yourselves. I know that once I started trying to be more patient with the husband, he started responding more to me.
Let me put a little story out there *
Saturday, I paraded around in sexy lingerie. I did things that I knew would turn any guy on. Then, I calmed down, and spooned with my husband. I asked him to kiss me, and he said he would after he took a shower (he had just come home from work, and was kind of grody) He hurried off to the shower, and got clean. While he was gone, I put a porn movie in the vcr, and pulled one up on the computer. When He came back to the living room after a shower, he had movies everywhere he looked, and me. We started to make love, but he kept getting soft! I don't know what was wrong. Finally, he got frusterated, and just gave up.
My husband looks at porn every stinkin time that I am gone and he's home. If I go shopping, he looks at porn. If I visit my mom, he looks at porn. It never fails!
Sunday night, though, we went to bed early, and he wanted me very badly. We made very satisfying love. Go figure. My porn addicted husband, who chose porn over me for months, couldn't keep an erection with the porn all over the place, but in the comfort of our bed he was a tiger!
When my husband and I were arguing all the time, he never made a move on me, and couldn't even get turned on by me. I would find porn on the computer daily. Now that we're getting along, however, he seems to want me more and more, and the porn less and less.
Maybe your guy is telling you EXACTLY what's wrong! You guys just aren't getting along. Some men need emotion to get going, while some men just need a naked body. I know the first few times your guy turnes you down is extremely painful, but you have to realize that you're not the only woman this happens to. I was BAFFLED the first time my husband turned me down. I had never been turned down before.
It's not me by any means. It's something wrong with him. Men are very sensitive about themselves and their performance. Saturday, when my husband stopped, and stormed off angrily because he'd gone soft, my first thought was that I wasn't satisfying him, so he got mad at me, and left. Then I realized how rediculous that is. I got dressed, and came back to the living room, to find him on the couch watching sports. He happily asked me if I would go get us something to eat. I said I would, then laid down beside him and gave him a big hug. He sadly said, "I kept going soft." I said, "Well, I'm VERY satisfied...you're an amazing lover." He shook his head no...I felt aweful for him. I gave him a kiss, and told him that I loved him. Then, I started scratching his forehead *His favorite place to be rubbed*.
When there is too much stress in a relationship, making love becomes difficult..even for men. Once the newness has worn off, and your left with responsibilities and an angry woman, affection often goes out the window.
My husband didn't love me any less because he was whacking off to porn, and not making love to me. He still got up early on his day off to cook me breakfast before I went to work. He still cooked me dinner 3 times a week. He still did the dishes. He still brought home a paycheck that he put in our shared account. He still kissed me goodbye with an "I love you" every morning.
Don't base your guy's love on sex. He's probably sincerely not feeling close to you right now..that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.
*shared secret* The past week or so, I'd actually rather use my dildo than make love.....at least in 2 minutes my needs are met, and I don't have to worry about meeting his needs
Sometimes, worrying about your partner's needs is too stressful. If you don't satisfy them, you'll feel guilty. They'll feel frusterated. If you don't have the energy to keep going, but you go on any way, both are frusterated. It takes a good actor to act like they are enjoying working on their partner, when they'd rather just roll over and go to sleep. If you are working to get your partner finished, but you aren't enjoying it, then it takes them longer, because they know you are doing it out of obligation, and not joy, which makes them want to stop, and then both parties end up unsatisfied and frusterated.
Sometimes, it's just easier to look at dirty women and use your hand than to try and get in a meaningful love session.
One more though: You were laying next to him naked at 9p.m., and he was whacking off at 11! You go girl!!! Poor guy was too tired to make love, but you made him sooooo horny, that he couldn't sleep, so rather than making love for 30 minutes, and then being so energized that he couldn't get a good nights sleep, he went to the living room for 2 minute relief from the turmoil that you put him in, so he could get to sleep without having wild dreams about you!
P.S. My husband gets up for work between 2:30and 4 a.m. every morning too. I would venture to say that the lack of sleep has a LOT to do with their sex drives......my husband is VERY frisky on the weekends
Why does he keep turning down sex???
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