For all the women that think porn is their problem, i'm going to let you in on a little secret. Porn is not the problem, you are the problem. If your husband or boyfriend loved sports, you would complain that he's up all night watching ESPN. If he liked fishing, you'd complain that he's always out fishing. If he stayed in the house all day and didn't go anywhere, you'd complain that he needs to go out and find some friends. You are never satisfied. Instead of being happy that you're not married or dating some violent woman beater, dope fiend, or closet petaphile, you nag him about having a healthy interest in the opposite sex. Just because you like to look at attractive women, naked perhaps, doesn't mean that you have some sort of deep seeded deviant disorder. Just beacuse you may admire the cuteness of someone elses child doesn't mean that secretly you desire to get rid of your own. It's juvenile. What if you pinching some cute little newborns cheeks was followed by incessent nagging about how you don't love your own kids and you just want someone elses. You would consider that lunacy. "Hey joe's new car is really nice." "Why don't you just go drive Joe's car then? What, isn't our car good enough for you anymore? Why are you always looking at other peoples cars? You don't love our car anymore"? It's rediculous. There are a lot more things you can be worried about than the 20 minutes that you husband/boyfriend spends alone with his own desires. He deals with you at home, his boss at work, why isn't he entitled to a little peace. now and again?
Sounds like you like porn and someone close to you has objections.
You can justify it all you want to yourself - but that doesn't make you right for the rest of us.
I was curious about porn when I was single, but after falling in love and getting married it doesn't interest me because anything that my spouse finds disrespectful or feels strongly about is simply not something I care to have anything to do with.
It is degrading to women - it degrades them to objects. Things to be used by men, for men's pleasures. Some people don't see it that way or have a problem with it and that is fine, but if I, or someone I love, sees it that way then I'll abandon it -- I'd rather have the people I love be happy and I don't miss it. And I also find male porn just as degrading to men and for the same reasons. I also understand natural curiosity - but porn should not come before a persons feelings. If porn is more important to you than your spouse or gf/bf, then you are in the wrong relationship for you and/or you have an unhealthy (obsession) fixation on pornography.
Originally posted by coldheart
For all the women that think porn is their problem, i'm going to let you in on a little secret. Porn is not the problem, you are the problem. If your husband or boyfriend loved sports, you would complain that he's up all night watching ESPN. If he liked fishing, you'd complain that he's always out fishing. If he stayed in the house all day and didn't go anywhere, you'd complain that he needs to go out and find some friends. You are never satisfied. Instead of being happy that you're not married or dating some violent woman beater, dope fiend, or closet petaphile, you nag him about having a healthy interest in the opposite sex. Just because you like to look at attractive women, naked perhaps, doesn't mean that you have some sort of deep seeded deviant disorder. Just beacuse you may admire the cuteness of someone elses child doesn't mean that secretly you desire to get rid of your own. It's juvenile. What if you pinching some cute little newborns cheeks was followed by incessent nagging about how you don't love your own kids and you just want someone elses. You would consider that lunacy. "Hey joe's new car is really nice." "Why don't you just go drive Joe's car then? What, isn't our car good enough for you anymore? Why are you always looking at other peoples cars? You don't love our car anymore"? It's rediculous. There are a lot more things you can be worried about than the 20 minutes that you husband/boyfriend spends alone with his own desires. He deals with you at home, his boss at work, why isn't he entitled to a little peace. now and again?
I wouldn't be surprised if you get picked apart for posting this but I for one completely agree with you. I probably would say it in a less bitter, antagonistic way, but the idea is completely true.
Agreed that porn is probably overrated by the female population as the root cause of relationship problems. It seems it's much easier to blame men for "infidelity" whether is is real or imagined, than to ask:
Why has love interest grown apart?
A much more complicated question, with answers that are probably much less palitable than taking any responsibility for the end result.
Also agreed, Dyermaker, this guy will be burned at the stake: But then, it'll be a hot flame that melts a coldheart.
Although I am a woman who isn't thrilled with porn or how it seems to be hurting these women on the forum, I'm not the least impressed enough with this thread to pick apart anything. It was written by a man that likes or agrees with porn....big deal....
Originally posted by VivianLee
Although I am a woman who isn't thrilled with porn or how it seems to be hurting these women on the forum, I'm not the least impressed enough with this thread to pick apart anything. It was written by a man that likes or agrees with porn....big deal....
Right, as long as women continue to validate one another's feelings of insecurity, their relationships will be sooo much better
Originally posted by dyermaker
Right, as long as women continue to validate one another's feelings of insecurity, their relationships will be sooo much better
The person that wrote the most in response to this thread was a guy......he said....
"Sounds like you like porn and someone close to you has objections.
You can justify it all you want to yourself - but that doesn't make you right for the rest of us.
I was curious about porn when I was single, but after falling in love and getting married it doesn't interest me because anything that my spouse finds disrespectful or feels strongly about is simply not something I care to have anything to do with.
It is degrading to women - it degrades them to objects. Things to be used by men, for men's pleasures. Some people don't see it that way or have a problem with it and that is fine, but if I, or someone I love, sees it that way then I'll abandon it -- I'd rather have the people I love be happy and I don't miss it. And I also find male porn just as degrading to men and for the same reasons. I also understand natural curiosity - but porn should not come before a persons feelings. If porn is more important to you than your spouse or gf/bf, then you are in the wrong relationship for you and/or you have an unhealthy (obsession) fixation on pornography."
Originally posted by VivianLee
It is degrading to women - it degrades them to objects. Things to be used by men, for men's pleasures. ... but porn should not come before a persons feelings. If porn is more important to you than your spouse or gf/bf, then you are in the wrong relationship for you and/or you have an unhealthy (obsession) fixation on pornography."
Yes! Exactly. Any woman who would think that a man would rather be in a relationship with a pornstar over their spouse is mistaken. It's not like the girls who make porn are forced into the profession, they choose to degrade themselves. Porn never should come before someone's feelings, and if women understood men a little more, it rarely would.
All I was saying is that a woman who makes another women's insecurities feel stronger, by validating her jealous rage over pornography, is doing a disservice to that woman and her relationship.
All I was saying is that a woman who makes another women's insecurities feel stronger, by validating her jealous rage over pornography, is doing a disservice to that woman and her relationship.
I've never seen any woman on here display a jealous "rage" about porn, I've seen them ask "what do you think" or "do you feel the same way?" Everyone on this forum answers similar questions to many situations not just porn, how can that mean they are validating something when they are just being sympathetic or just giving an opinion. If men understood women more then maybe they'd understand what causes the insecurities.....
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The porn issue
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