[coco24]

My boyfriend's mother is from africa(ethiopia) and since shes gotten here he has laid down the law for me. "She will be in the front seat." I am wrong for wanting to sit in the front seat. I am his fiance.

On Christmas he bought her several items of clothing and only a few me of which one of them was the wrong size. So I confronted him about it. It appeared as if that size 8 was really for her-but since he realized I did not get as many gifts as she did he had a change of heart. He has bought her several items of clothing besides the Christmas event. He has bought none for me and being a new mother, I told him I would like some new clothing too.

It seems as if she competes with me to do the housework because one day as I was mopping the floor she took the mop and went over my work which I let him know I did not appreciate. And one day when they went to church I cooked him a nice meal and he loved it. Then the next day at 7am she gets up and starts cooking for him. You would think she's married to him the way she gets up to see if he left for work and she waits for him to get home.

Also we have three kids and she watches the 7 month old. But, I noticed that she is not clean with the baby in several instances and on the rough side. For instance, yesterday she wanted to clean the baby's face with the same sponge we do the dishes with. How do I bring it up. Our relationship is falling apart. Need help fast.

[youngandhopeful]

I dont have much experience in your situation at all, but if i was in your shoes, i would probably confront his mother. If she's soon going to be your mother-in-law you had better smooth things over with her now. I might be wrong but its what i would do.

[moimeme]

You need to understand the role of mothers to sons and daughters-in-law in his culture. Just because he doesn't live in Ethiopia any more does not mean that his traditions are irrelevant to him. You will all need to discuss roles as they are in Ethiopia and where you are and negotiate how you want to proceed from here on. This is not a matter of confrontation. Try to come to consensus.